Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child

Great book. Very helpful. Thanks so much to the authors.

I am a man partner of a woman who was sexually abused {incest} By her father along with other abuses from men in her life. I was having a very hard time in our relationship not understand what the hell was going on.unfortunately I broke up with her before I bought this book.I can tell you without a doubt buy this book it was 100% hitting home on what { I} {WE } were experiencing WOWthis book is amazing Please do your self a favor and save your relationship and read this book.I am not sure what the future holds for her and I but I can tell you this if we do give it chance again I WILL BE WELL INFORMED WITH THE TOOLS AND UNDERSTANDING I NEVER HAD.If you love your partner man or woman do it.

Decent book so far. I keep searching for books to help me understand the quandary that is my husband, but I’m never totally satisfied by any book I get. I do seem to get a little insight from each one though, which is something I guess. This book (from what I’ve read so far) is coming from the idea of your partner “dealing” with their childhood trauma. So far in my journey, I don’t know how much “dealing” my husband is doing. All I know is he has at least processed some of it. I’m just trying to figure out where I stand in all that bc his life is and always has been very centered around himself. This book touches on that for any spouse or partner who struggles with that in their relationship.

This book is very helpful. It was recommended by a marriage counselor that my partner and I were working with. "Allies in Healing" Offers varying situations and relationships and how situations from a persons past (the survivor) may bring feelings to the surface that may be hard to process and understand as partners or "allies". I still am in the process of finishing the book, but it has been very helpful in understanding some of the situations happening within my own relationship with my partner. How sometimes certain feelings or reactions, although may feel provoking, through some trial and error, I have found myself being able to communicate with my wife more effectively in these situations.On a second note, the copy of the book I purchased wasn't damaged, and was rather new. However, there was a large crack or bend in the back cover where it looks like the book was bent possibly in packaging or storage prior to delivery? Other than that, the shipment came as promised, and on time.

I was in a dilemma with my survivor (and I am a survivor myself), and I found this book. I read it nonstop, except for the stories at the end which the author recommended I read slowly. This book is the most helpful source I have found so far for being a Partner. The perspectives are diverse, which is important because the attitudes between me and my survivor change. There is a little bit of something for almost every scenario. Mostly, the book provides a "yay! I'm not alone, this really does suck" feeling, which was essential for me to give myself an attitude shift and continue on. After reading this book I realized that my method for solving the dilemma I was in was not working for either of us, and I was able to find a good compromise and understand my survivor from a more fundamental place. I was also able to understand my own role as a Partner more intuitively. I am now seeking additional support as recommended by the book and my life is so much better already! Buy this, if only for the dozens of resources listed at the end of the book for where to get additional perspectives, reading, help, groups.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE... IF YOU ARE A SURVIVOR PLEASE READ, YOU'RE LIFE MAY BE AT STAKE:These books are only helpful people not those who put their own pleasure above your mental health. I made the mistake of purchasing this and two others about this subject to help my husband better understand what was wrong with me. Unfortunately, it did more harm than good and by purchasing three books I tripled the damage. He used them to further abuse me and tell me how I was doing my illness wrong and I a must be a whore or slut because I wasn't having sex with him. And more disturbingly, seemed to get aroused by the books. SO PLEASE BEFORE YOU PURCHASE THIS BOOK OR ANY ON THIS TOLD BE VERY, VERY, VERY SURE OF YOUR PARTNER. When we learned in childhood no one can be trusted, it doesn't necessarily change. I have now vacated the bed we shared for a great dane bed at the foot of the actual bed, I feel this is my proper place after what he had put me through. I have no desire to return to the shared bed. So please beware. That's my experience with this book, you will find a similar review done by myself regarding the two other books I purchased.

If you are on this page, then you should buy this book. I cannot express how helpful and eye-opening this book was for me. A book alone will not solve your problems, but this book helped me to see my problems from a different angle and that has made all the difference. Even if you don't buy this book you should know that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 20 men experience childhood sexual abuse. The statistics jump to 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men who are survivors of sexual assault or abuse at some point in their lives. While those statistics are incredibly sad, hopefully you can take heart in the knowledge that you are not alone. Good luck!

Really fast shipping and perfect quality even though it was paperback and went through the mail.

This is a great and valuable piece of work, and I'm immensely grateful to the author for creating it. Sadly, what I learned wasn't enough to save my relationship, but it helped me to understand why I couldn't save it.

Clearly and compassionately written. Some very helpful points, the key one being the acknowledgement that , as a partner, the situation can be confusing and difficult for you too, and that it is OK to recognise that you have your own needs in the relationship .The four stars rather than five are because I would have liked a more in depth discussion of some situations, and some of the issues I have come across were not addressed.

Excellent resource for partners of those who are survivors of child sexual abuse. I routinely recommend this to clients, although sometimes caution them to dip in and out rather than plan to read cover to cover - a question of calibrating for each individual what's appropriate for their particular circumstances. Being a partner can be overwhelming enough, without dipping deeper into the world of their partner without appropriate therapeutic support.Clare Myatt, Somatic Coach and Psychotherapist

Found this read quite difficult. Some of the terminology was quite patronising.I bought this as a self help and to be used by my husband and he put the book down after half an hour not wanting to read any further.What ever your reason for looking at this book be prepared. I wouldn't purchase this. If you must go to a library.Sorry.

Bought this ages ago and still haven't read it all but it is something i can refer to when needed. Very helpful to Partners as i have found there isn't much support out there for people like myself trying to support your loved one.