They She He Me: Free to Be!

I don’t normally read other reviews prior to writing my own, but I happened to read some for this book and I want to address something I saw in a couple of them. And that is the idea that this book must be read with a parent to help children understand it. I call b.s. on that idea. It can absolutely be used as a conversation starter between parent and child (or educator and child) and since many young children cannot read on their own it may be a shared reading experience. But, the idea that kids need an adult to explain the idea of gender and especially a non-binary idea of gender to them is very, very gender normative and promotes cisgender as both normal and dominant. I think most children understand that male and female and the roles “traditionally” assigned to those labels are very limiting and frequently inadequate in expressing how they feel about gender. I certainly remember the feeling of “not being a good girl” because I liked to run around with the boys and because I wasn’t into pink or princesses, while still having close girl friends and loving My Little Ponys and identifying at cisgender female. Kids understand that a gender binary is too limiting, even if they identify as cisgender and this book gives them validation that they are right about that and also gives them the language they can use to express that.Okay, with that out of the way, this is wonderful little book to have on your shelves. It’s very simple in it’s execution, which actually makes it work well as a picture book and an easy reader. Just a quick note, “they”, “she”, “he”, “me”, “we”, “to” and “be” are all sight words (words kids need to memorize on sight instead of sounding out each and every time they encounter them in a text). Very young kids will enjoy reading through this and looking at the people and even older children will be captivated by the ideas shown here (my seven year old still likes to read this one).Maya’s illustrations are always so charming. Happy people and children with flushed cheeks, she presents a mix of skin colors, clothing, ability, and hair. Babies and toddlers, who love faces, will enjoy looking at the pictures, while young kids will enjoy the added experience of seeing the pronouns the people identify with below them. If you can read this to babies and toddlers all the better, as it will counteract some (but by no means all) of the societal pressure to conform to narrow ideas of male and female.This is definitely one to have in your home and on your library shelves. Might you get push back from parents and patrons? Yes. But don’t let that deter you. Kids who don’t conform to the male-female binary deserve and need to see themselves in our books. We also need to give kids the vocabulary to describe gender. Please read my post about soft censoring books for more on the insidious nature of caving to the pressure of possible complaints.

Every Pre-K through 8th classroom should have, read, and discuss this beautiful book to increase their gender knowledge base and make sure all students and staff are represented at school!

The first half of the book is too simple for my older kids, and the second half is too complicated for my younger kids. This is more of a workbook for adults who work with kids than it is a kids book.

I’m a school based speech language pathologist and this has been a wonderful addition to my classroom!

It's perfect for the toddler in your life.

This book is very informative, and a great way to address gender. My child is only 4, though, and struggled to pay attention to the larger chunks of text. It's a lovely book and shows a wide variety of people.

excellent for young kids and great for adults. pictures and words are great to teach respect and care!

This book is okay. It's repetitive, which is great for younger children. Most of the explanations come at the end of the book and are geared more for adults.

We have a lot of books on gender identity. But this one takes it a bit far. Changing the pronouns of book characters? The characters already have their identities and pronouns so doesn't that just trample on others views? Don't find a pronouns you like so make up your own? That's kind of why these things are being seen as a joke at the moment... Every other book we've got gives you real terms to use, listing loads of them. Even our oldest child (Who identifies as 'just themself') thinks it's silly. Frankly it goes too far and makes things worse. I like the intention. But it's honestly the worst one of them all.Also there's 2 pages for 'She', 'He' 'Me' and 'Tree' EACH (So 8 Total!) Where it just says the word over and over under a picture of a person.Frankly it is a waste of money, you can get much MUCH better very easily...

I got this book for a nursery setting to help the children understand a staff members change of name. So useful and helpful. Insightful and fun.