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L**D
great book
The book is well written and easy to read. The advice she gives SHOULD be common sense in how to treat someone you love, but it doesn't pan out that way in the real world so it is a great reminder.I don't personally find it in any way insulting to think of myself as surrendered. Relinquishing control of my husband is really just the bare basics in treating him like an adult. Being controlling is a very unhealthy part of any body's character, man or woman, but it is quite hard to see in your own behaviour. It is even harder to get rid of, but this book has a lot of excellent insight into why one is controlling in the first place and how to deal with it.Highly recommend this book.
C**Y
great book
after reading some of the reviews on here i was a little skeptical. but after buying and reading it does have some good points.yes it should be taken with a pinch of salt and not everything is gonna work for you so dont think this is a tailor made book. the section about the husband taking the wrong turnoff on the motorway was highly amusing especially after reading some of the other reviews, but i guess the main point of the book is to stop causing more tention and creating bigger dramas by arguing. lets face it a month after an arguement do you really care or even remeber what it was about so whats the point in trying to argue it out.if you learn to let go more and try and avoid the drama and take more time in telling your husband nice things and appreciating him more then your onto a winner with a better relationship and thats what this books gets you to realise. i would definately recommend you buy, but if you do then also get your husband to read it as it should be something that he should try and work on too.
B**N
Surrendered Ex-Wife
I have given this 4/5 stars but my comments may make you wonder why I did. I want to assure you I think this is a fab book, and one that will have a tremendous impact on my life. However, it will be hard and I have a lot of self reflection to do. Much of this review will be based on my personal experience and emotions, which as you read you will see why the review may sound disparaging but I think the overall benefits of reading this book are well worth the high star rating and recommendation to others.Firstly, it is well written. I don't read much but I devoured this book within a few days. I found it easy to follow and it had the perfect balance of action, reasoning, then antidote to help me understand the damaging behaviours I enact and what I need to do better and why.However, I found it made huge assumptions about all men and women. There seemed to be no allowance for deviation and made me feel like anyone could have a happy marriage. It didn't mention other reasons for break down such as incompatible visions of the future (e.g. one of you wants kids, the other doesn't. Sometimes "I can't" means the relationship is doomed).It also assumes you actually married a loyal, dependable, capable, and hard-working man. Well... some of us didn't.This book is for traditional households. Mine was not.I married a man who I wanted to be the house-husband. That was our agreed vision but over time we both realised this wasn't making us happy but he didn't make any effort to get a career to allow us to swap roles. In the end he decided he didn't want children at all, and we parted ways.So, I read this book after my marriage had already collapsed and it made me feel incredibly guilty. It made me feel like the break down was my fault. I identified with all the negative behaviours. Perhaps if I was more supportive my husband would have gotten off his lazy behind and sorted himself out. But I never found him to be dependable, capable, or hard-working. But I didn't need him to be because I was taking care of the house.The result was a lot of emotional turmoil for me and a whole host of negative emotions. I am looking at my past as a learning experience of what not to do and I have a lot to change within myself. I am very grateful for this book regardless of the rollercoaster of questioning my every action that doomed my marriage.Feedback I would give the writer would be to excluding the chapter about God. I skimmed this chapter as I didn't feel it was relevant and actually did a lot of damage for anyone who doesn't not identify as a Christian. It maybe wiser to integrate hints of the benefits of submitting to a higher power throughout the book without references to any specific God, and also push suggestions of using spiritual networks for support if you are in those circles but ensure those who aren't are not left feeling that chapter was not for them.I would also have loved a summary chapter at the end that provided an overarching list of actions in a quick reference guide, such as phases suggested throughout the book to use. I will have to make my own but it would have been handy in the book, and maybe as a downloadable resources from the website as a 'quick glance' guide for those who have read the book.But overall I feel this book will have a huge positive impact on my life. I have a lot of changes to make within myself to be right woman to attract the kind of man I wish to be with in the future. To start with, I actually need some female friends. And to start communicating using my emotions instead of my logical thinking brain. Two things I am going to find challenging, but then if it wasn't hard what is the point in doing it?!
A**
Amazing helped me 8 years ago when I was still a new bride
I loved everything about this book and have read it 3 times since 2016. It really helped my marriage blossom more and bring peace to I and my husband. I'm always recommending it to friends and family
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