Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out

What an incredible book. I am so grateful that I purchased this book!!! My son graduated college 4 months ago and is struggling to find employment. Trying to navigate this time has been a challenge on our relationship with him at times, but this book gave me insight as to how I can change my focus and hopefully help the relationship and him overall! Ironically I read it in a plane (quick read which I also LOVED) on my way to meet him for a weekend trip…the book likely saved our weekend! Remembering that the focus of our weekend should be in creating fun memories and not spending the time digging into him on the job search. I found our son opened up a lot more to us as a result! Great advice in this book for parents-how to hold firm to your expectations and ground rules but not ruin your relationship with your child, and ultimately get them to take ownership of their adulthood completely! Wish I had read this sooner!

An excellent book. I’ve already recommended it to some friends. I usually get rid of books after I read them but I’ll be keeping this one for reference. The only chapter I was a little disappointed with was In-laws, Stepfamilies and the Blend. I expected this chapter to include ways to navigate your adult stepkids but it was actually about stepfamilies of your children are divorced. I would love to hear more from the author on navigating parenting adult kids in a second marriage as the parents

After hearing a YouTube excerpt from this author on this topic taken from a presentation he did at a conference, I decided to order the book. My husband and I have two teen boys, one of which is turning 18 in a month. We have been struggling with him and his very independent and somewhat rebellious (to authority) personality, and haven’t been sure how to enter this early adulthood stage with a kid who still has a lot of maturing to do, but will be an adult, still under our roof for awhile, and trying to navigate the messiness that our society is right now. This book has really helped shine some light on what works and what doesn’t. Written from a Biblical standpoint, and by a man who has been there with his own children, I have gained quite a few tips that I have already been employing as I try to parent my almost adult boy into manhood with the easiest and less traumatic transition possible for all. Some of the advice is hard to hear and the exact opposite of what my instinct is to do, but all perspectives and consequences of certain approaches are explained so well that I find myself mentally referencing what I read as my day goes by.

Good reminders that unless we are invited to share our views, we need to keep our mouths shut. Unsolicited advice is interpreted as criticism. There are good reminders like: this generation is different! They don't grow up as fast as we did (for many reasons). There were good stories I could talk about with my spouse for an easy exchange of ideas. More step-by-step worksheet ideas (like exit plan timelines and budget spreadsheets) would have been helpful.One thing that bothered me was a frequent references to being fun grandparents and having access to the grandkids. I'm not sure that fit within the framework of this book.

I didn't know I needed this book until I made all the mistakes as a mother of adult kids. I just read it this year and wish I had started it 10 years ago. It is so practical, non-judgmental and full of wisdom. I would say it would be best to start reading this BEFORE your kids turn 18, not after. And then re-read it again when they are in their early twenties. Well written, easy read but profound advice.

This book is so appropriate for learning about todays emerging adults. Understanding their culture and their beliefs is so eye opening. The Boomer Culture and the Gen Z and Gen X Culture is very different. Until there is an understanding of the difference, it is difficult to relate to your younger adult. Making that transistion from Adult to Adult takes practice, patience, and as Jim says many time "biting your tongue". Easy to read with all the necessary "hot buttons" to learn.

Every parent should read this. If you don’t need it now, you will.

I used this book to lead a small group at my church for 18 parents with adult children and we all thoroughly enjoyed the book. It’s a great treatment of the issues related to parenting our adult children. The questions included at the end are extremely helpful and led to lively discussions.