10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Hardcover – October 26, 2015

This book is an important contribution to the Gottman’s overall body of work, as it’s directed at clinicians and creates a useful clinical bridge between the hard science presented in the book "Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love" and the book "7 Principles for Making Marriage Work," which targets a broad audience. "10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy" presents practical and specific suggestions that would be helpful for any therapist working in the often highly charged atmosphere of couples therapy.The specific clinical examples that illustrate several of the principles are useful and provide a nice window into the Gottmans' inner and outer dialogue as they apply their methods with challenging cases. They also admit becoming flooded at times themselves, normalizing the fact that therapists are also human beings with our own triggers in a really challenging profession. I do wish one of the principles included more information on attachment theory; a theory which can help highlight critical underlying emotional dynamics in couples therapy.In considering negative reviews of the chapter, "Suspend Moral Judgement when Treating Affairs," I think it’s important to note that effective couples therapy involves taking a both/and approach, rather than an either/or stance. In short, we can hold people fully responsible for their decision to have an affair AND demonstrate compassion, understanding, and curiosity about the individual and relationship history that may have contributed to the betrayal (e.g., childhood trauma, etc.). Judgement (at least the type that's similar to contempt) simply isn't effective in couples therapy. That's one of the points of the chapter.In summary, Drs. Julie & John Gottman are master couples therapists and this book is a must read for clinicians wanting to apply their science-based techniques in a sensitive and emotionally attuned manner.

This was my fist book to learn about couples therapy. The Gottmans are well known for their thorough and thoughtful approach to helping struggling couples so I recommend it for everyone who wants to learn about it for themselves and others.As a non-American, it felt a bit “sensational” and self-promoting to me but I took the theoretical and practical advice and will use them in my practice.

I can't tell how much I love Gottman!!!!!!Before I found Gottman Institute, I purchased a big, thick (and expensive) book with abstracts of up-to-date family psychology research to understand what is the most inclusive, effective, research-based, and easy to explain to clients modern school/approach. (As I was away from active psychological consultation for more than 5 years and my initial education was in Europe) I wanted to refresh knowledge and add an extra useful certificate on my wall.After researching everything available (in Europe, the USA, Canada)- Gottman won. I read most of their books and took formal education from the Gottman Institute afterward. Money well spent! If you are just a consumer/customer/user buy "what makes love lasts" or other books from their series, it will be more interesting for you. But for therapists/counselors this book is a "must"

The Gottman approach is the undisputed gold standard for partners therapy. But they center white couples with complete unconsciousness of the impact of that lens on folks from other backgrounds. In the most obvious example, the only non-white culture couple described are, predictably, from a caricature of Black “ghetto” backgrounds (the Gottmans’ term). And like most trainings and research, of course, healthy relationships involving consensual non-monogamy are not even mentioned, let alone addressed. Still, creative and diverse therapists will do what we always have done and take the awesome guidance from this work and adapt it to help our diverse clients and communities find their way home.

I didn't use this book for it's intended purpose of couples counseling. I was provided a grant to design a structured protocol for family communication and therapy when the family features a member who has schizophrenia or psychosis. The APA division 12 task force for evidence based studies finds that a concept called "family education" is more evidence based in treating psychosis than actual individual therapy. However, these alleged books of "family education" were not clinically tested or had any structured interventions for clinicians to design a measurable program. Due to the research finding that "high expressed emotion" is the number 1 trigger in psychotic relapse, I decided to design my program based on the Gottman approach. This is because "high expressed emotion" was codified in research studies as featuring "criticism," "contemptuous comments," "defensiveness" and another pattern that seemed very similar to "stonewalling." I used every single intervention from this Gottman book for 8 months with these families that were in my study. The sample size was small (5 families), however all but 1 featured a remission/partial remission. I really think the Gottman institute should look more into this area as their approach seems to not just work for couples, but for families with schizophrenia.

I already knew almost everything in this book due to having read several other John Gottman books. That said, I still found it useful for review and liked how Julie Gottman offered a fresh and approachable way to understand technical concepts. John studied it empirically, and Julie explains it for the therapists. John's other books are generally either extremely technical or simplistic for the layman. This book is a happy medium and an excellent introduction for budding therapists. Highly recommended.