This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence

Books on marriage are a dime-a-dozen these days, even from a Christian perspective. However, only a handful of books on marriage pass the test of biblical fidelity. John Piper's book, This Momentary Marriage passes both tests.. In fact, it ranks among the best books I've read on marriage to date.Readers familiar with Piper will instantly drawn in to his argument for marriage. Over and over Piper pounds the theme of the book into the ground for maximum effect: The ultimate purpose of marriage is "the display of Christ's covenant keeping grace." To that end, the author develops several items worth mentioning.First, the author grounds his central argument into rich soil by reiterating that marriage is "the doing of God." And in a final sense, "marriage is the display of God." He continues, "The ultimate things we can say about marriage is that it exists for God's glory. That is, it exists to display God ... Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship to his redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display." And this is the primary reason why divorce is so odious to God: "Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God's eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant" (emphasis mine).Second, Piper focuses on the priority of covenant love. Remember the theme of the book that marriage is means to display Christ's covenant keeping grace. Therefore, the author argues that "staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It's about covenant-keeping." The foundation for this covenant-keeping is the rock-solid covenant between people and God. Therefore, Piper continues, "Marriage exists to display the merciful covenant-keeping love of Christ and the faithfulness of his bride."It is here that the book takes an important and decisive turn - for the author shows the relevance of the doctrine of justification by faith alone and how it relates to marriage. Piper adds, " God requires two thing of us: punishment for our sins and perfection for our lives." He continues to describe how the vertical reality of justification must be "bent horizontally to our spouses if marriage is to display the covenant-making, covenant-keeping grace of God." The takeaway is profound: "Let the measure of God's grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse." This is a perfect example of the Christ-saturated wisdom that permeates the book.Piper continues to give practical advice to husbands and wives throughout the book; advice that is bathed in biblical wisdom; advice that is ultimately rooted in our God who keeps covenant with his people. Biblical headship is discussed - so husbands are encouraged to lead well: "Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home." The husband's leadership involves physical and spiritual protection and physical and spiritual provision.Biblical submission is explored: "Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts." What strikes me about the section on headship and submission is this: in a few short pages, Piper delivers an exegetical bombshell that utterly destroys the prevailing notion of egalitarianism. This God-dishonoring view that sees no distinction between male and female roles is left begging for mercy; tattered and torn in the shadow of Piper's sound exposition.The concluding chapters discuss the permanence of the marriage covenant. In what may be one of the most important statements in the book, Piper suggests that "if Christ ever abandons and discards his church, then a man may divorce his wife. And if the blood-bought church, under the new covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may legitimately divorce her husband. But as long as Christ keeps his covenant with the church, by the omnipotent grace of God, remains the chosen people of Christ, then the very meaning of marriage will include: What God has joined, only God can separate."The author boldly goes where few pastors dare to go by suggesting that remarriage is prohibited so long as the previous spouse is still alive. His arguments are exegetically sound and compelling. Readers who disagree are encouraged to survey the case that Piper presents and prayerfully consider his arguments.This Momentary Marriage is a landmark book. It is a theological landmine that will undoubtedly shatter many preconceived notions about marriage. It is solid food that Christians need to digest. And it is timely ointment that is designed to heal wounds and promote strong marriages in the difficult days ahead.Highly recommended!

In "This Momentary Marriage," John Piper presents a strong, biblically-inspired stand that "Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God (And) ultimately, marriage is the display of God." Not marital advice but a delving into the mystery that Paul alludes to in his lesson about marriage in Ephesians, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5: 32, ESV)I appreciated this book immensely but as I write this review about it, I must offer my belief that it will be appreciated most by a certain audience whereas others may not enjoy it as much. So before, you recommend it to someone, think about how it may resonate with them.Here's the criteria I would use for potential readers: 1) Committed Christian; AND, 2) Holding the (Christian) Bible as an authoritative source of truth; AND, 3) Earnestly exploring God-inspired insight about marriage. Those holding doubts about their, or the, Christian faith but who are earnest truth seekers and open to accepting the Bible as a source of truth may also benefit from this book. Regarding others, I'm not so sure.I offer these audience guidelines because some may see this book as presenting a dogmatic, "hard line" view about marriage, an institution commonly attributed as arising from societal tradition but which Piper presents as originally ordained by God. He starts with a bang in the first chapter to set up what he has to say about marriage:"There never has been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough," wrote Piper in the first chapter. "I pray that this book might be used by God to help set you free from the small, worldly, culturally contaminated, self-centered, Christ-ignoring, God-neglecting, romance-intoxicated, unbiblical views of marriage."While these are strong words, I believe they represent how Piper unflinchingly draws a line in the sand that challenges readers to elevate their view of marriage above the common discourse underway in the world and even in the church today. Wading deeply into Scripture, texts from 32 of the Bible's 66 books are referenced with each chapter launching from a key Biblical passage.A central theme is that, "The shadow of covenant-keeping between husband and wife (in their marriage) gives way (after death) to the reality of covenant-keeping between Christ and his glorified Church." While marriage is confined to the span of life, God uses it as a pointer to realities found in the next life which is to say that marriage is more than simply a license a couple secures to live out their love in a manner that is societally acceptable. Hence, the book is not so much about marriage as it's about God and Christ and how marriage factors into the plan of redemption for all people, whether or not they marry (and whether or not they are believers!).In just 178 pages, Piper covers a lot of marital territory including all the "hot" topics - romance, sex, headship, submission, childbearing and divorce. His position on divorce will test the mettle of many readers, especially those who have experienced divorce. While he presents sound biblical reasoning for this position, he leave lots of room for mercy and even admits that his view is not commonly held among church or biblical scholars.So to those who may say the book's tone is lacking in grace, I would disagree but also understand that charge. While I was challenged at many turns, I thought Piper offered sound biblical reasoning against which I could compare my own conclusions versus his, pro or con. That's all I can ask of any book. Overall, he succeeded in elevating my view of marriage in a manner I found quite inspiring.

My life as a husband, pastor, and seminary grad has put a number of marriage books under before my eyes. I'm always looking for something to lead couples I counsel through, something to lead my wife through, something to geek-out over. For a number of reasons, this book is the only one I plan to take every pre-marital couple I counsel through, sometimes with the addition of others. Here's why:First, it's short. The chapters are short, and the whole thing isn't huge either. Some people I counsel are great for a longer take, like Kostenberger's work on marriage. But this one doesn't intimidate people who don't love to read, even though it's powerful enough to move a very academic mind. It's like great preaching in that way.Second, it is both clear and powerful. It's natural to sacrifice one for the other, but Piper shows his writing skill well here.Third, it is all about marriage pointing to Christ and the Church, which so many otherwise great books on marriage miss. Piper quotes his wife saying "you can't say that enough," in the book. She's right.Fourth, it gets it so right in so many areas of theology and practical application. I've never agreed more with a marriage book.Fifth, more particularly, this is one of the few books out there that articulates what I believe to be a Biblical view of divorce and remarriage.Finally, Piper has a knack for seeing how people would abuse a text or a truth and diffusing that tendency. He knows the heart well enough to stop us in our tracks.It's a book connecting marriage to Christ and the Church written by a good scholar, a good preacher, and a good pastor. Five stars.