Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life

The book will take you a while to read bc it's pretty powerful stuff. You can't absorb all the things very quickly if you want to make some key changes in how you perceive and communicate. Best to read with others so you can practice the lessons. Bought for a grown man friend bc I already had a copy and think it's an excellent read.

This book is powerful for relationships, as it helps to cut through old, dysfunctional patterns of behavior that limit vulnerable, intimate connection. For example, it dives deeply into the human tendency to interpret or jump to conclusions about what people say, rather than actually checking out what they truly mean. Interpretations can lead to triggers, miscommunication, and disconnection. Asking, "What do you mean by that ...?" can yield clarity, understanding, connection, and more love.This book represents some of Susan's decades of working with couples. I bought it and read it to my partner. We then did one of Susan's in-person workshops. It's a new day for our relationship. A new, sunny day. Love it. Thank you, Susan! ~Alan, Mount Shasta, CA

I had mixed reactions to this book. On the one hand, it stands out as one of the most thought-provoking self-help books I have ever read. The ideas in it are profoundly spiritual and, at the same time, very practical. Although it doesn't explicitly align itself with Buddhism, some of the later chapters in particular resonate with Buddhist teachings. In the balance, it comes off more as transpersonal psychology, not as spirituality, and it's a little edgy. These are all things that I love about this book.On the other hand, I was really exasperated with the specific language that the author suggests for "getting real." To avoid the trap of projecting your stuff onto other people, she offers certain sentence frames that you can use as a way of expressing difficult feelings. There are definitely dangers in "reading into" other people's intentions and feelings, I'll agree with that. But I found some of the scripting to be incredibly stilted and awkward. I think the one I had the biggest reaction to was her insistence on using the phrase "I imagine that you are _______," (feeling insecure, angry, etc.). The rationale for that phrase, again, is to avoid the projection that comes with statements like "I feel that you're angry with me," which, as the author explains, is often just a judgment or projection disguised as an I-statement.I had such a strong reaction to this that I had to write this review. Number one, I think it's often possible to make reasonable deductions about another person's inner state based on his or her behavior. Yes, you have to be careful about projections, but I think that making certain kinds of deductions based on certain kinds of behavior really isn't that difficult. Personally, I find that I am often on target in what I'm sensing about another person, and my perceptions are often confirmed later on. If anything, I actually get into trouble more often when I second-guess what I sense or perceive about a situation or another person. But, in reading this book, I felt like the author was discouraging me from having trust in my perceptions. Imagining, by definition, entails a disconnect between your perceptions and what's real. For me, I am comfortable "knowing what I know" and "seeing what I see." I want to strengthen my connection with my ability to sense things, not turn it into some kind of abstraction, and that's what "I imagine that you feel _____" feels like to me.Secondly, the whole issue of projection can be avoided by simply asking the other person what they feel. Tell them what you think and then ask them if it has any validity: "I have a feeling you're angry with me. Does that have any validity?" or "Is there any truth to that?" I'm not a psychologist, but this seems like a way of expressing your perceptions and inviting the other person to share what's going on for them.Having got that out of my system, I can say that this book is well worth reading if you're interested in personal growth and authentic communication. Try reading the table of content, and you will get a feeling what it's about. There is a lot of wisdom in here.

If you want to have better relationships, to fit better in the world and to understand what goes on and wrong with relationships, then Getting Real is a must read.At the outset, Susan Campbell tells us, "that about 80 percent of the average person's communications are geared toward controlling things that are actually beyond the person's control: a huge waste of human energy."Trying to control things beyond your control has to lead to frustration, anger, anxiety and increased levels of stress. It is not healthy for relationships."The people in my study who experienced the greatest number of painful unexpected surprises (such as job loss, divorce, and alienation from their grown children) were those who demonstrated the highest need for control."There is an extremely valuable lesson here. Give up trying to control and learn to accept what is. She says we need to give up our need to be right and start being real.The ten truth skills are: 1) Experience what is 2) Be transparent 3) Notice your intent 4) Welcome feedback 5) Assert what you want and what you don't want 6) Quit projecting 7) Be open to revising previous statements 8) Be okay with holding different viewpoints 9) Learn to share mixed emotions and 10) Learn to live in the momentThis book is very well written and based on years of research and actual practice. There are plenty of examples to support the 10 Truth Skills.You will need to approach this book with an open mind. If you are not trained in these skills, you will need to change your way of thinking as they often run contrary to convention.This book can be of great help in improving the way you think and act. Removing the need to control things beyond your control will immediately reduce the stress in your life - and stress is directly responsible for well over 80% of all health issues.I highly recommend this book. Read it and use these 10 Truth Skills to change the way you live. You will live a better life by adopting them.

Un livre indispensable pour vivre authentiquement

I like the way it’s written. Really it’s a book of activities to sit and work through with a group, so if you want to strengthen the trust and bonds in any group you’re in, or know other people who want to get better at being sincere rather than people pleasing, this is a great practical book.

Telling the truth is a confronting possibility.This book opens up a conversation about being authentic and expressing oneself with authenticity, especially being authentic about when we haven't been authentic. This requires the courage to be real. I enjoyed this book because it opened up the possibility for me to transforming my relationship to being vulnerable and real with the people that matter in my life. I believe it can do the same for you. Highly recommended.

If you are ready to have a better understanding of reality? Your own fears and emotions will become easier to understand if you read this book...

Practical advice you can start using right away.