Sins of My Father: A Guardian Book of the Year 2022 – A Daughter, a Cult, a Wild Unravelling

I’ve just finished Sins of My Father by Lily Dunn, a difficult book to describe. It’s a harrowing and troubling story of growing up controlled and manipulated by a malignant narcissist, Lily’s father. It’s horrifying and real and brilliantly written. Her father, a sex addict, among his other harmful traits, became a sannyasin, a devotee of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. Lily shares vivid descriptions of the guru’s ashrams and communes in Pune, India; in Antelope, Oregon; in Italy; and one in the UK, called Medina. Lily’s father encouraged her, at age 13, to have sex with an adult man, a fellow sannyasin, more than 4 times her age. Her father tried to force her to ingest Ecstasy at an even younger age. The most upsetting and angering of what I’ve read so far (in addition to what Lily suffered) is how the children were mistreated – sexually, physically, emotionally abused – at the ashram in India and at all of Rajneesh’s communes. Lily’s intense memories of the culture of pedophilia at Medina are shocking and sickening. She spent much time there with her father and his latest wife: “older men being with younger women, men pursuing minors, virgins… perverse and sinister, and a total abuse of power” (p. 88). Her father thought it was a good thing. Grown men constantly watched Lily inappropriately, saying to her father how cute she was. “He likes you,” her father would say to her, “as if it were normal for a man to look lecherously at a nine-year-old” (p. 89). She tells us: “I have since had conversations with some of those who were raised at Medina, and there is a quiet mention of abuse that took place at the commune school, by one of the teachers; but there is also suspicion at my questions, a shake of the head at further enquiries, and a reminder of my position on the periphery. This particular story is not mine to tell. But I know that many of these children were not all right, and I also know there is a lot of secrecy still in the communities, loyalty, protection of each other, fear of being misunderstood or ostracized. “But what I can conclude from the evidence I have in front of me is that in his attempt to exorcise the sin of conventional sexual expectations and taboos, Bhagwan enabled instead what became a perversion of love. He and his disciples chose to ignore the corruption and abuse of the children who embodied the innocence they were meant to revere. By not acting they became complicit.” Lily explains that in her father’s own book, he “parrots many of Bhagwan’s ideas: ‘To give us adults the chance to play with children so that we no longer need to think of them as our children that need our protection, for children need no protection.’” She concludes that her father’s book “has nothing to do with children, and everything to do with adults justifying their neglect of those children. It is the provocative twaddle that Bhagwan had become notorious for, but my father was no guru” (pp. 118-119). Sins of My Father is unputdownable. A love story. A horror story. The unmasking of an unfortunately still much-beloved guru. And most of all, a deep soul-searching that can teach us much about how to analyze and escape from a cruel narcissist, as Lily did finally relieving herself of her father. And, not to be forgotten, exposing the danger of Rajneesh’s preaching of “sexual freedom,” which set the stage for a plethora of abuses, primarily of the women sannyasins and the neglected children. This beautifully written book is important on so many levels. While difficult to read at times because of the nature of the abuse, it is well worth it to share in her revelations and insights.

Some relationships with parents are very tricky! It is amazing how it can take so many years to figure them out - but when someone does it is a gift to all those in similar situations. This is a well written and poignant memoir about a daughter's relationship with her narcissistic and alcoholic father who joins the Rajneesh cult. I like how the author/daughter doesn't write him off, but follows that human urge for connection and understanding so we get to experience, not only her challenges, but some compassion for his.

A very moving tribute to her father; a story about addiction and mental illness and the toll it takes on a family. A tragic charismatic soul; a victim of the British class system and boarding schools who looked like he had everything but ended up a homeless addict. His daughter explores his life and looks for answers. A sad, moving story. Well written; a page turner. Highly recommend.

Fascinating book! Excellent writing. I am 4th generation Jehovahs Witness that final broke the chains & left me cult. Reading is so important in reading. I wrote the educational, comedic graphic novel CULT GIRLS that just came out. Good job on this book! I hope it flies off the shelves!

I agree with the other reviews that labeled this book boring and disappointing. The author has an annoying style of writing, continually saying "I picture this..." or "I imagined that..." as opposed to just getting on with the story. It was distracting to have so many unnecessary explanations and descriptions. It seemed she was trying too hard to write a great book.

One of the morst boring books i ever read. I do not recommend it to anyone. It is a waste of time.

As a mother to a child with a narcissistic father who left us and never looked back, a very important book for me to understand my child who was put in a very difficult situation at a very young age. It gives me hope that my boy can also thrive despite his father’s shortcomings. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your thoughts!

Many years ago I worked for a publishing house which was run by Lily Dunn's father, and so when I heard that this memoir had been published I hesitated before reading it. I wasn't sure that any writer would be able to adequately convey how complex a character he was without turning him into some sort of caricature of himself.I also wondered how Ms Dunn would deal with the cult that he was a member of. From the outside it looked wonderful: it was based on love and meditation and enlightenment, and most of the followers I knew were extraordinarily kind and lovely people. But some of Osho's writings on (for example) homosexuality, women's rights, and child sexual exploitation were extremely unpleasant.I shouldn't have worried. Lily Dunn is a writer of great talent and perception, and has written an extraordinary book. She explores the meaning and value of love, loss, and commitment with a beautifully delicate touch; her writing is sublime. And although the story she tells is deeply sad at times, and downright horrific in places, she remains at all times unflinchingly honest and full of compassion towards her father, despite his many shortcomings.Her love for her family, her father included, shines from every page and transforms this heart-wrenching, desperate story into a precious and beautiful thing. It's a stunning book, which deserves to win prizes.

I am not usually a reader of memoir, but a friend recommended this book because I grew up estranged from my dad. The moment I picked it up, I couldn't put it down! It has the page turning quality of fiction, and its pace, but in addition it's a true story, and a fascinating one at that! Even though the author's dad is extraordinary in lots of ways - joins a religious cult, makes lots of money, lives in all these exotic places around the world - there was so much that was familiar about him. I both loved and despised him, felt furious and sympathy for him. I totally understood why the narrator was so entrapped by her feeling about him. This book made me laugh and cry, and I really want to see what the author does next. And for now, I'm enjoying reading more memoirs!

I so appreciate Lily sharing her story. It moved me to tears & had me turning the pages wanting to learn what happened next. A poignant & sad story but filled with beauty , creativity & intrigue. A very human account, honest, raw, loving and passionate. I look forward to reading more from Lily & admire her journey very much.

I’d watched Wild Wild Country so knew some if this sorry tale already but heard the human side from a duped follower which was very interesting coveted by his daughter. A good read if you’re struggling with drink issues as the author seeks to understand not blame too much. Thought provoking