The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships

It is my experience that few people have strong communication skills -- are capable of gracefully disagreeing, giving opinions, asserting boundaries, confronting people. Most of us either go along with others, try to pacify, avoid confrontation and never say "No," (the passive style) or we boss others around, intimidate them, and force them to give in to "our way" (the aggressive style). There is also the passive-aggressive style which attacks indirectly in order not to take responsibility -- by forgetting, having "accidents," being late, or being slow in responding to a request agreed to. AND sometimes, hopefully more and more, we use the assertive style. The essence of assertiveness is assuming responsibility for your own behavior and acknowledging your thoughts and preferences honestly while also respecting the feelings and opinions of others. Paterson notes that each of these styles is used by all of us at one time or another; and we each have a style we use most. The book is an excellent handbook which will increase your awareness of yourself and others in all interactions. Further, the author guides you step by step into increasing your flexibility of responses. First, Paterson has assessments for determining which of these four styles you use most. He also explores how we learn these behaviors and when it is appropriate to use each. Beginning with the easiest situations in your own life, you start practicing the assertive style. One of my favorite exercises was called: A Walk in Town. The idea is to practice overcoming passivity by the way you walk. You use a favorite actor or dancer as a model of confidence. The best guide for me was: let your chest enter the room first, not your nose. Although the subtitle of the book emphasizes overcoming passivity, this book is also for those who are overly aggressive. Aggressive persons might be less likely to perceive a problem, but overuse of the aggressive style usually indicates a fear of being out of control and tends to keep us distant from others. This book is a fine resource for personal relationships, for work situations, or conflict management. It is readable, workable, and fun.

Highly recommended. The content is very professional. Every advice in this book was really helpful for me. I want to thanks Mr. Randy for his work.

This book provides a lot of examples with what it is trying to show you. I think it’s fantastic way to see how you respond to people and get an outside view on your own behaviors. If you put the time to do the activities you will learn a lot from the book.

Three means of communication are passive, assertive, and aggressive. Assertive is the middle ground and an approach that helps communication be more effective and beneficial for everyone involved. This workbook provides psychoeducation as well as situations for clients to evaluate. This workbook is an excellent resource for helping people learn how to communicate assertively.

I am a passive codependent and I am learning very successfully to become assertive as a result of doing the work in this workbook. The chapter entitled "Overcoming the Belief Barrier" quickly taught me how misinformed I was about what assertiveness is and is not. I saw my own past beliefs outlined in the "Beliefs That Support a Passive Role" exercise. I quickly learned how wrong my impressions and understandings were about what it means to be assertive. The "Reality Check" that Chapter 5 offers quickly suggested to me that I need to lay my victim role aside when the it stated the "Key Point: You are in charge of your behavior; others are in charge of their behavior." The "Reality Checklist" in that chapter was also very helpful. The "Strategies for Saying No," "Barriers to Saying No,""Assertiveness Scorecards," and scripting exercises in preparation for facing a confrontation where all very, very helpful to me in my quest to become assertive and to stop practicing my conflict-avoidant, passive codependent behaviors. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to become more assertive. [...]

If only you knew how long ago I purchased this! Just getting around to a review. As far as assertiveness, okay, maybe, but as far as ending some procrastination - maybe just what you need. Pages held the ink well and the ink adhered to the paper. Literate individuals will recognize this as a device to transfer information from one source to another. It's a book. It performed like one.

Great book

The Assertiveness Workbook arrived on time and undamaged. The book is written in an assertive way and teaches with thoughtful exercises, interesting and uncomplicated descriptions, and positive examples, how to bring some peace to your life by learning the skill of assertiveness. In fact, you may be surprised to find how assertive you already are. The Assertiveness Workbook shows why what you may be experiencing in your current relationships may not be working for you. It provides tools to decode daily dialog and helps you to choose options that will benefit everyone. By using examples, the book explains how to change unequal and possibly damaging relationships without causing conflict, and in a gradual way. It easily overcomes resistance by presenting information which you will find simple to use in daily life. Wish I had found this book years ago.

This book has helped to improve my assertiveness. The paper it is printed on is very good quality and value for money. There was good communication between me and the seller and it arrived on time as well.

Si tu problema es la falta de asertividad en tus relaciones personales y/o profesionales, este es tu libro. En el libro aparecen un sin fin de situaciones cotidianas, en las que la falta de asertividad, por miedo o temor a lo que piensen los demás o uno mismo, desemboca en un conflicto aún mayor. Se repasa poco a poco el proceso para atreverse a decir lo que uno piensa, desea o necesita, sin imponer y sin mandar. Incluye ejercicios prácticos. Muy bien redactado.

Book is as described

It was a gift, my friend loves it & is looking forward to working through it.

The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson is an exceptionally helpful, well written, engaging skill building book that I have read and re-read to encourage personal growth in assertive communication. How do we change ourselves to become respectful and effective in the dance of 'showing up' in conversations? This book with access to online videos and printable 'score cards' will engage you in a learning process you will not want to pass by.