Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety

I found the author on Quora and enjoyed her writing style and perspective, so I finally decided to purchase her book. And I am so happy I did!It is a must read for therapists who work with clients with personality disorders. She does a great job of presenting complex concepts in a way that’s easy to absorb and fun to read. It is not overly theoretical or abstract. It is very specific, with helpful examples, which makes it easy to learn and use with clients in sessions.Also, there is plenty of clinical interventions outlined and tailored to specific types and subtypes of personalities. This is so valuable! I found it incredibly helpful in treating narcissism.I read through almost the whole book the day I got it and have since shared it with colleagues, who have found it extremely helpful as well. This is a great resource - totally worth it!

I love that this book explains in clear, plain, easy to understand language what causes personality "adaptations" (which most people call disorders), signs, symptoms, motivations, and how to overcome them! Specific, unique ideas that truly help, case studies and examples abound, so relatable! The author makes it clear that these adaptations can be rehabilitated and acknowledges that there is a scale or gradient of severity, which is such a relief! Most resources are ignorant or act as if a personality adaptation is an untreatable lost cause! The breadth and depth of the knowledge the author has on the subject and the unique approaches really impress me. I have spent HOURS with this book, have shared it and discussed it with others, and every time I do, I learn new, helpful things. VERY practical. A God-send. Some of the best money I ever spent. Invest in yourself and buy this book and you won't regret it.

This book has changed my life and the way I view personality adaptations. I personally suffer from one of these and also grew up with parents who I suspected as having them. The contents of this book have reeducated me on what I’ve previously read about personality “disorders”. Nothing quite made sense until I read Elinor’s book, and then it was an epiphany for me. I originally came to buy this book after following Elinor on Quora and finding her to be the only doctor/therapist (I’ve read) who spoke about personality adaptations in way that wasn’t dehumanizing. I feel like she truly sees her patients not as deeply flawed but as humans who as children had to develop these coping mechanisms—ADAPTATIONS—to stay alive. She has such a voice of compassion and understanding that I couldn’t be helped not to be drawn to her and her book. I believe that this book is the book that’s going to change how our society views these personality adaptations. If you or a loved one suffers from one of these personality adaptations, you can only be helped by buying this book. No matter what you’ve previously read about personality “disorders”, this book will take you to an entirely different and compassionate level of understanding.

Amazing book. Very well written, and clinically balanced from a perspectives standpoint. I was, however, interested in reading it digitally on the Kindle app. In addition to having a desk reference. Unfortunately, the Kindle app does not process the fonts or bookmarks or images well at all. So much so that it was not worth, the recommendation. I would shout “go for it”, if you’re asking about the paper back. And maybe suggest to the publisher, that when they run the next batch, they fix the digital breakdown. Great material.

This is an accessible treasure-trove of information about Borderline adaptations. Even though it's written for therapists, it provided some insight into my level of BPD functioning (low). I am very grateful for the information about this condition. There were also plenty of helpful, concrete strategies to try as well.My only critical comment is this: I believe Dr. Greenberg when she says that she's trying to reduce the stigma around BPD. However, the repeated use of the words "toddler," "primitive," "childlike," etc., and the recurring phrase "like a scared child," was pretty infantalizing. These are accurate descriptions and may help therapists understand BPD better. But when she wasn't directly referring to Object Relations theory or the Rapproachment period, she could've substituted the less pejorative "underdeveloped" or "insufficient" for a lot of those phrases.BPD, how it's treated, and how it's written about is already fairly undignified, and I would encourage the author to carefully consider her word choices, even (or especially) if her audience is psychology professionals.I'm also not sure how much I buy into the parental importance in my psyche (it sounds Freudian).But I do greatly appreciate the author's work and her strategies. I highly recommend it for anyone struggling with BPD.

I have to thank Elinor (Dr. Greenberg ?) for recognizing that borderline traits are an ACQUIRED condition; no one is born with this collection of traits. (Ok, yeah, those of us who probably / absolutely inherited it. But without the 'right environment', i doubt that these traits would have bloomed.). Environment was created by truly malignant narc, which she also describes delightfully.Thanks !

This book is written for professionals (psychiatrists and psychologists/psychotherapists). Thus it is very hard to read for those who are not in these fields. However, if you are willing to slow down and learn and internalize the lingo, this book is eye-opening. I am a physician, and for me it was like a medical textbook about the diseases with prognosis, symptoms, complications, treatments. The only difference is that it was about myself and the people who are very close to me. Revelation! After reading this book, I feel a lot more tolerant to people with Cluster B disorder, but it also gave me a better grip on how many thought processes/circumstances/adaptations work in this life. Highly recommend!

Psychotherapist with strong credentials and years of experience in her field, Elinor Greenberg doesn't just teach the reader about cluster B mental disorders, so popular and misunderstood, but brings light to them with specific examples which will stay forever in my mind.After reading this book one can become an expert in recognizing individuals with these adaptations in everyday life. And what it struck me, is that there are so many of them. You will be rereading this book many times and always find something new, you missed the first time. I was shuttered to learn about the heart of the problem causing Narcissist to devalue and hurt others, and cause so much pain in close family relationships. Thanks to this book I was able to understand the painful truth about anyone affected by NPD.Thank you, Elinor for sharing your experience. .

Great book! Read it!I first come across Dr. Greenberg on Quora on my quest to find out more about toxic people. I loved her comments, she is always sensible, easy to understand and relatable. It was a no brainer to invest in her book, and god what a gem! The best book I've come across that explains everything in a way that is thorough and precise but still easy to understand. It is down to earth, makes the behavioural patterns easily recognisable and also great on practical advice. Can't recommend highly enough.

The author is knowledgeable, experienced, and at the same time very respectful and empathetic to her clients. I wish all the therapists read this book, to not traumatize new clients even more, by misinterpretation their behavior and protection adaptations as games they play to cheat or avoid self discipline.If you have doubts about yourself, your therapy, feel not understood, wondering why people act so weird at times around you or on the dates, and feel that just saying "oh, they are just narcissistic" or "you should just follow your therapist instructions and prescriptions" doesn't cover deep picture - this might be the book, that'll make you say "a-ha! this is what's happening!" "finally, i'm seen, finally it's about me".Before buying this book you can watch and read articles, lectures and interviews of this author.If you have bad opinion about gestalt - don't hurry to skip it. She has a deep classical psychological background, as she quickly run into the issues operating with clients by using only gestalt approaches and started to study more - to be able to diagnose clients and provide them help with all the varieties of techniques.

I wanted to purchase it since a long time. I am glad I did so.... Very happy about it. I wanted to learn about personality adaptations in an easy language.

I wanted this for the narcissistic personality disorder was really good for that