The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing Paperback – March 20, 2012

It has been some time since I have been moved to write a review, perhaps being too busy trying to clarify relationships I have had with others before my own passing, but Bronnie Ware's book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing" has moved me so deeply that I feel compelled to recommend it to everyone I know; family, friends, lovers and past lovers, even the students in the university courses I teach (my students are either already teachers or are preparing to become teachers). Unfortunately, circumstances prevent me from recommending it to the person I would most like to recommend it to. That person is Valery, with whom I spent ten beautiful and life affirming months during a period shortly after I had just been diagnosed with a stage four cancer. I was 68 years old at that time and Valery was the first person with whom I had ever been able to let down all of my defenses and truly open my heart. She, who was only 43 then, expressed the same feelings about me. We had never met before that time and although we lived over 3000 miles apart and only actually saw one another on six brief occasions during that time, we sent e-mail to each other every day (over 1500 e-mails filled with poetry, music and stories of things that were and things that might yet be) and we came to accept, believe in and love both ourselves and one another unconditionally. Through unfortunate circumstances we were torn apart and are now no longer even in contact with one another. For the past two and a half years, my path has been looking deeply into myself, my heart and soul, to see what I have learned from everything that happened; the ten phantasmagorical months in which we discovered and created our own beautiful truth, the unfortunate circumstances that tore us apart, and the past two and half years of awakening and claiming my own truth as it continues to evolve. I do not regret anything that happened, but I am sad that Valery seems to be in a place now where, in order to survive, she appears compelled to deny the love we expressed to one another and play out a different set of scripts. Before I die, I would like to reconnect with her, at least long enough for both of us to share what we learned from all of that so that we will not die, whenever that time may come for each of us, with any regrets about anything that has happened. So I am writing this now to send out into cyberspace in the hope that anyone reading it who may know Valery will tell her what her "father" has written in this review and about Bronnie's beautiful book.

Absolutely an amazing book. Highly recommended you won’t regret reading this book. The flow of the stories and the way the author uses her words was inspiring.

My neighbor recommended this book as a way to reflect on life and aging.Bronnie Ware writes of her own wisdom and transitions as she emerged as a listener, musician, composer, teacher, and total human being. Bronnie's chapters offer much to contemplate about life and aging.

The end of a year is a common time to take stock—especially so this year as we embark on a new decade this Wednesday. Depending on your age, you have more or fewer opportunities to make changes and improvements at such a time. Australian author Bronnie Ware worked as a caregiver for the dying, and the people she cared for knew that there would be no new years or decades for them. They had to come to terms with what had happened in their lives that they wished hadn't, or what hadn't happened that they wished had. Ware shares their stories in "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying."Ware realized that many of the same regrets came up over and over from those she cared for. They are:* "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."* "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."* "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."* "I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends."* "I wish I'd let myself be happier."The elderly that Ware cared for make many recommendations to the reader, including resolving family conflicts to the extent that is possible, taking care of your health so you can live life to the fullest, striking a balance where money and simplicity are concerned, looking at every day as a gift, maintaining a sense of self, and realizing that your life is your own and not someone else's. One affluent woman envied her daughter's having the courage to live the way she wanted to against the opinions of society. Another one of Ware's charges regretted being married to a controlling spouse and not traveling to other regions or countries.The stories in "Top Five Regrets" are moving and the book is well worth reading. It implores the reader, especially young readers, to realize that what you think you will regret when you are young is not what you will eventually come to regret at some point on the road from 25 and 75 and to order your life so that your regrets are fewer when it comes time to die.