The Kept Ones Paperback – September 25, 2014

The "Kept Ones" by Etterlene "Bunny" DeBarge is a must read. As a big fan of the DeBarge family: Switch (Bobby and Tommy), DeBarges (Bunny, James, El, Mark, and Randy), and later Chico DeBarge, I have to admit that I often wondered what had happened to the family. Growing up I could not get enough of the DeBarge family. In fact, I attended the Luther Vandross concert just to see the DeBarge family. Then there was a period of time when it seemed as if the family just stopped making music altogether. Sure there were many groups who sampled the Debarge music/lyrics but, there wasn't any new material that was coming from the DeBarge family members. I read about Bobby's struggle with substance abuse but, I had no idea about the barriers that the family members had to face and overcome; while growing up, until I (recently) saw the "UnSung" feature on the DeBarge family. Although I was saddened to hear about how some of the family members were made to endure or witness domestic violence at the hands of their father, I had no idea about the magnitude of the abuse (i.e. physical, sexual, and mental abuse) until I read the "Kept Ones." This is a great testimony about how; even in the midst of a storm, the family continued to persevere against all odds. This book also shows how unresolved issues can follow a child into adulthood and test the faith (i.e. substance abuse) of even those who are seriously grounded in the word of God.The only con about this book is that it was not edited. This book should have been a "best seller." I truly believe that this book would have gotten more recognition, sells, and readers if it had been edited. There are very serious grammatical errors; which at times, makes it difficult to understand the message that Bunny is trying to convey. Nevertheless, it is a great book that will be difficult to put down once you pick it up.Since the book abruptly ended at the "start" of the DeBarges career with Motown, it seems as if there is more of the story that needs to be told. There is definitely a second book here; a rewrite of the first with additional information; or a sequel that tells about the "rebirth" or "second chance" of the DeBarge family. For instance, although the DeBarge group eventually disbanded during the late 80s, Chico DeBarge (sometimes mistaken for el) continued to carrying on the family name in the music industry. Even though Chico DeBarge had his own personal trials, tribulations, and struggles, he continues to persevere. In fact, many would agree that Chico is one of the great artists that emerged during the late 1990s neo soul movement. Many would also agree that Chico is one of the best song writers of the DeBarge family members. During the age of "reality" and just "keeping it real," people want to hear the truth and not some glamorized day dream song. Chico DeBarge is a poetic lyricist whose candor and play on words will have you "addicted" to his music. In addition, there is also a new generation of DeBarges that are entering the music industry. There definately needs to be a sequel written about "The Kept Ones."

I admire Bunny’s courage and strength in being able to open up to the world and share her story of abuse and poverty. I cried as I read about the sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse she (and her siblings) suffered at the hands of their father. I wish they had been rescued from him years earlier. Much like her brother Tommy, she only tells of her own sexual abuse. She respected her siblings privacy and the right to tell of their own sexual abuse if they so choose. Unfortunately, Bobby never got to tell his own story and no one knows if he ever would have shared it publicly. The mother has always been in denial of any of her sons ever being sexually abused. Other then her own sexual abuse, Bunny tends to sugar coat the family’s abuse where Tommy is more “raw” with it in his book. Family friend and Switch founder Greg Willams shares in his book some of the “alleged” sexual abuse Bobby suffered at the hands of his father as “allegedly” told to him by Bobby himself.

I truly enjoyed Bunny DeBarge's book, and I really appreciate her being so honest in sharing her story with the world when she really didn't have to. It could have remained between her and God. However, by sharing her story, the public gets an opportunity to understand the DeBarge family and how close they were, how spiritual they were, and how they stuck together through good and bad times. On the other hand, sometimes being too close and following everything that someone else does can harm us. "Bad association spoil good habits" and family is no exception. In fact, family can be the very ones we're influenced by because they're our first friends, and sometimes our family is our only friends (as in Bunny's case.) With every decision that Bunny made in her life, it was influenced by her tumultuous upbringing. At times her decisions were passive with a goal to please everyone else except herself (like her mom). On the other hand, her decision could be bold and her emotions distant (like her father). This is story that is not unique in today's world, but during Bunny's time, the type of abuse she and her family endured was taboo, and never spoken about. Yet, through it all, there is an underlying ray of hope that Bunny holds onto, and that's her faith. My only criticism about the book is that there could have been a smoother cliffhanger. Nonetheless, I'm eagerly anticipating reading volume 2.

I have been going down a Debarge rabbit hole for the past couple of weeks. I read this book after reading her brother Tommy's book, and watching her brother Bobby's movie. Bunny filled in the gaps of their childhood from her perspective. As tragic as her story is, I am amazed at how forgiving she was. I could not be. Not at all. I'm starting Kept Ones vol. 2 today and I guess I will find out how her childhood led to her traumatultuous adulthood.

I truly felt like I was on the journey with the author. Simply written but effective. Looking forward to reading the next leg of the journey.