Kid Icarus: Uprising [Nintendo 3DS]

Great game to own. Delivery was on time.

Son loved it.

Here we can see the infamous Scalper in its native habitat. It is quite a horrid creature. It is quite similar to that of the homosapiens. That is because this thing you see before you is in fact an evolution (or de-evolution in this case.). These beasts were in fact human at a time but that time has long gone. Now all that is left is an empty shell with only greed filling its’ will to live on. Anyways, let’s get on to further studying this horrendous creature.There are some key noticeable differences between a human and a scalper. Notice how the eyes have changed from a natural human eye to a dark pitch black circle. The iris has changed from a circular shape to a sign of currency. The scalpers seen here have dollar shaped irises due to them residing in the United States of America. Another key thing to note here is that they have also developed a hunched back. This is probably due to spending an ample amount of time hunched over computer screens in dimly lit rooms. In fact, this also is a reason as to why these gut wrenching beasts are known to be a bit on the overweight side. This leads to all sorts of poor health conditions as well as putrid bodily odors. These foul odors are used as a defense mechanism, should there ever be a threat to one of their kind. The stench is strong enough to incapacitate an average human for several hours.Now that we have the basic anatomy of a Scalper out of the way, I believe it is time we go over their living habits. As one can easily guess, Scalpers tend to isolate themselves in dark, dimly lit areas, such as their mother’s basement or in underground sewers and underneath bridges. They are rarely seen leaving their dens unless it is for ruining the day of another person’s. Now then, Scalpers are known for one thing and one thing only, ruining things for other people. Specifically, destroying any and all chances a person may have at acquiring something of physical matter that a group of individuals may have interest in. They go to stores, hunt down things online and buy things en masse to ensure that no one else can buy said item. They then raise the price to ridiculous prices in order to profit off of these poor souls whom only wish to purchase something to add to their collection of nice trinkets.Now then, you may ask yourself, is this right? Any and all logical and morally correct answers lead to it being immoral and completely unfair to others. That is what these foul beasts thrive on. They enjoy your pain, your misfortune. You, whom may not be as fortunate as others are. You, whom may not have as high an income as other people are fortunate to have. A scalper finds nothing but joy and satisfaction in the suffering of others.These creatures have no hearts, no emotions, no guilt and no remorse for the foul atrocities they commit. All that matters is that they are lining their greasy, pork grind filled pockets with currency. These creatures are some of the worst creatures mankind has ever seen. Tickets to that concert for that band you like are strangely sold out. That brand new Collector’s Edition for that game franchise you love so much is somehow entirely out of stock. Things that were supposed to be given out for free are now being sold online for insane amounts of money. All thanks to the putrid Scalpers.So then, how does one combat the growing threat of the Scalper? It is rather quite simple. Just say no. Do not give in to temptation. Patience and perseverance always prevail over the evil doings of the Scalper. Do not buy what they are selling. In time, they will realize that no one is going to buy the items that they have bought for the sole purpose of scalping and they will be forced to lower the price accordingly just to not lose money. That my fellow friends, is how we can defeat these vile beasts that pollute our fandoms.