Man Versus Dog

This book is awful and not for children. The positive reviews about this book must certainly be written by relatives or friends of the author.

On an unseasonably warm mid-February morning in 1988 a South Korean communications satellite fell from the sky into a pristine snow field outside of the small hamlet of Kugluktuk in Nunavut, Canada. That the satellite landed in that particular snow field was not so remarkable. American and Korean scientists had been well-aware of its decaying orbit, plotting its possible trajectories with great care, and even predicted that the doomed satellite would strike the earth that morning in the Western hemisphere around the Arctic circle. To the local residents, mostly of Inuit blood, the satellite would have been little more than a curiosity or a diversion for their dogs and children save for one extraordinary circumstance.In the very same snow field in Kugluktuk, on that very same mid-February morning in 1988, a 1200 pound male polar bear was found dead. It had been generations since a polar bear had actually been seen anywhere in the Kitikmeot province, let alone outside of the relatively populated Kugluktuk. Its presence in that particular snow field would have been startling enough. That the bear was squished underneath the fallen satellite, cold and lifeless, caused as much concern as confusion for the local residents. Remarkably, the event received essentially no attention beyond the local paper. Although many who were there that day had a sense that there must be some profound meaning in this impossible occurrence--that a chunk of metal the size of an industrial refrigerator could plunge from space and crush a polar bear --most couldn't articulate anything beyond the trite ("That's the darnest thing" or "poor bear" or "oooh!"). But on some far deeper level, one just out of their grasp, all of them sensed that the event signified something at once bizarre and magical, random, horrible, and unsettling. For many, that day bisected their lives into two: the time before the satellite, and everything that came after.So it is with the arrival of Richard Schwartz's new book, Man vs. Dog. It would seem that in a million years on a million planets in a million possible universes such a work would be produced but once. The tale itself is simple and timeless: a man makes a beast of himself to get rid of the pain of being a man. That and it's also about a guy who hates his girlfriend's family dog. The themes are as broad as they are deep; fractal in nature, the closer one peers the more that is unfolded. Within the spare and crudely drawn pages of seemingly random color combinations one is confronted with Taoist thought, Arthurian legend, Kabalistic cosmology, Popul Vuh, Tom & Jerry. Like Boopsy, the dog-Satan element of the story, MvD "gives what it gets". Although a four year-old child or a dim-witted and/or intoxicated adult could basically fathom 99.9% of the story, it is the deeper meanings embedded in the remaining 0.1% that makes this a masterwork. Yes, many will simply see a twisted hunk of metal with a many antennas and Korean flag on top of a bloodied and somewhat flattened polar bear, but others will see the full glory and horror of the human experience. I also found the paper to be rather absorbent which is a nice bonus.Schwartz was initially trained as a mathematician, although "trained" is a bit generous: much of his knowledge was either self-taught or what he could garner from on-line courses and old books from the prison library. Although young, Schwartz is tenured and may be approaching the twilight of his career. Like many before him, he has turned to writing professionally rather than other, more unsavory acts. Schwartz actually has some other works that are worth checking out, namely "The Extra Toaster" and "Unnecessary Surgery". I am not just saying this because the author is my brother. One can trace the evolution of his style through these earlier works. A theme of madness prevails throughout, and although completely unrelated in every way, the attentive reader of "Toaster" can almost predict the arrival of Yorick and his twisted confrontation with Boopsy that forms the core of MvD. I must confess that I found some of Schwartz's earlier math-related writings, such as Spherical CR Geometry and Dehn Surgery & Outer Billiards on Kites (also--strangely--available on Amazon.com) to be opaque, monolithic, irrelevant, and not all that much fun to read. Frankly, I use them only to punish my children and as a backdrop for toenail clipping (as the orange covers provide excellent contrast). As an aside, Dehn Surgery does not deal with the same themes as "Unnecessary Surgery" (caveat emptor). Although on the surface one may find the so-call math works more complex than MvD, Toaster, and Unnecessary Surgery, I think ultimately this is a facade. There is far more to learn about the universe in MvD than is contained in all those squiggly equations and triangles inside of circles. Although of use to some, I would recommend starting with the above trilogy before exploring the earlier math works.

After receiving  YOU CAN COUNT ON MONSTERS , I just had to get some more of Mr. Schwartz's writing... I opted not to go for  Spherical CR Geometry and Dehn Surgery (AM-165) (Annals of Mathematics Studies) , or  Outer Billiards on Kites (AM-171) (Annals of Mathematics Studies) , knowing that the reading would be too light for me... err, um... Right. So I read N. Schwartz's review of,  Man Versus Dog , and at that point I was hoping He or she had authored something as well! The review had me laughing out loud. I knew I had to get a hold of both this book, and  The Extra Toaster . The books are equally hilarious, and truly novel. I can't remember who said that the secret to writing great children's stories, is to make the story entertaining and engaging for adults as well as the children. These books are like this. My kids (all 5 of them, ranging in ages from 10 yrs down to 21 months), love reading these books, and will frequently ask to read them. My niece, who is a 16 yo, actually brought the books to school to have her friends read them. She wanted to steal them from me, so I need to get her a copies for herself. Lastly, my mother (63 yo), laughs along, every time we read these book. I love the illustrations in all of his books. I don't know which book it is (maybe it's all of them?), but Mr. Schwartz thanked his young daughter for doing the illustrations! Anyway, fun books, get them! =)