Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves

The author gives names to invisible and unproven energies, concepts and forms, and then attempts to make these real primarily through case histories and literature. He explains how and why to make the shadow conscious, who we are but don't want to be, such as deceitful, manipulative, our capacity for evil as individuals, barbaric as societies. He examines our divided selves, id, ego and superego. God and devil. Our unconscious, our conscious (the ego) verse our shadow side, the latter involving both good and not so good personality traits, feelings and thoughts. We are complex, both damaged and hurtful to others, much like some who are religious feel damaged by original sin. And so, we must then turn inward, to self, therapist or god for healing. Hollis' focus is the last half of life, when we are more fully developed.The ego is our conscious self, what we are aware of, the mask, the chameleon, the propaganda we display to feel comfortable within ourselves, and to get what we want from others. With the ego in apparent control, we may be overpolite, deferential, and inauthentic. The ego is thin, fragile, but it provides an illusion of safety and control. And so, we protect it through denial, projection, adaptation, repression, overcompensation, repetitive harmful patterns and addiction. In this maladaptive way we avoid doing the hard work that is required for the discovery of our darker and hidden shadow selves. Shadow work is humbling to the ego. But being stuck in this avoidance, immobilized, we feel the safety, of a foxhole. The goal is awareness, the unconscious made conscious.We have both the strength and the ability to accomplish this work shadow work ourselves, or with the help of a trained (preferably Jungian) therapist. The therapist here is a guide, not a healer. Suggestions are offered for finding our shadow: What are my fears. What do I avoid. Where am I stuck; a therapist can't help a client move beyond the level of the therapist's point of stuck-ness, of his own frozen development. We are instructed to look for repeated projections; what do I dislike and often see in others. What negative feedback to I get from others. In what situations am I most likely to overcompensate. What are my most common slips of the tongue. Do I recall dream themes. What are my usual new year's resolutions.Hollis explains the benefits of bringing the shadow into awareness; to live a more authentic and more interesting life, a life less hurtful to self and others. The unaddressed shadow can result in abandoning a part of ourselves, it increases self-estrangement, as well as our distance from others. Our unacknowledged shadow will likely become a burden, imposed onto those with whom we are closest. A child's most significant emotional handicap may be his parent's shadow, his parents unlived dreams, hidden fears and anxieties. And this can reduce the child's capacity for living a full, healthy life. What we avoid when we don't work to discover our shadow self will not simply go away; instead, it will likely infect those most important to us. (For example, through repetition compulsion).The necessary work can be attempted through pop psychology or religion; pop psychology feeds the ego. Religion can feed the soul through prayer and other forms of magical thinking. Both offer temporary comfort with the status quo but not much else. Wholeness, freedom from self-estrangement, these require a deeper process. That said, the study of religion can provide information regarding prejudice, segregation, war and genocide.The author makes recommendations; don't be afraid to make mistakes. Take the risk of making unfamiliar choices. Learn to tolerate uncertainty, ambiguity and anxiety. Ask yourself, what do I want, and pursue it. Accept your darkness and know that no feeling or thought by itself is wrong. Awareness and acceptance of our inner evil will reduce the likelihood of harming ourselves and others.The primary goals of shadow work are to accept that the shadow is real, to learn about our dark self, to take responsibility for it and for the harm it has caused others, and to embrace and even love it; this is not permission to act out. This includes our selfishness, our anxieties, our hatreds, our loneliness and fear of abandonment. We acknowledge that our difficulties are the product of our choices. Through the work, we become less demanding of others, and better able to maintain honest, non-exploitive and ethical relationships. We mature, grow up, and we live a richer life.This book was fascinating, and it provided insights and tools for enriching our lives. Not pop psychology, it was profound, with sections demanding a review. Doctor Hollis concludes with Shakespeare: "No prisons are more confining than the ones we know not we are in." I'm more contemporary: "Hello darkness my old friend (Simon and Garfunkel)."

The title might lead a casual reader to dismiss this as just one more lightweight self-help book -- but that's not the case, not in the least! As with Hollis' earlier books, it's a psychologically & philosophically rich examination of the human soul, offering no easy answers, no magic solutions, no simplistic aphorisms in place of real insight. If you truly want to understand your life & its choices, then you have to be willing to do some difficult & often painful emotional work. And that's something few of us are eager to do.Which leads us to the question: do you want to grow, to become more fully conscious, to strive towards wholeness? If so, you'll have to discard protective illusions, stop expecting someone else to solve everything for you, and apply an almost ruthless honesty to yourself. You won't like a lot of what you see in that dark mirror, and you'll try to fend it off, explain it away ... but that's our mistake. If we can acknowledge the part we unconsciously play in our own suffering, we may well learn how to alleviate some of it & live with what remains.Mind you, Hollis never promises an end to suffering, a wondrous makeover that does away with every ugly scar & thought! He has too much respect for the tragic view of human life to hold up an illusion of perfect happiness, no matter how golden & comforting. He's very clear on this: what we need isn't happiness, but meaning. And to find it, we have to be willing to grapple with the Shadow, all that we fear & despise about ourselves, all that we reject & often project onto others.I feel that this is one of Hollis' finest books, in that it possesses an extra depth & richness of insight. It made me look at my own life more deeply than I have in the past, and encouraged me to confront many of its uncomfortable & frightening aspects. At the very least, it will make you think long & hard about yourself. At the most, it may set you forth upon a fascinating & revealing journey. Most highly recommended!

You need to read the book to understand the points the author is making. I read it and can see how some things relate to my personal life but that is from my perception. I can not comment or predict that this book will create the same understanding it others. That being said, I did enjoy the book, found it interesting, informative, well researched and well written.

This books thoroughly and clearly covers all bases in discussing in Jungian terms how our internally divided personality, unresolved feelings of shame, unacknowledged needs and fears motivate people with the best will in the world to unskillfully do damaging things.I had heard much of this before, but this is especially clear and complete. Highly recommended.

James Hollis, the Swiss Trained Jungian Psychologist is clearly one of the profound Jugian thinkers and writers of our time. His works provide great overview, clear insight and complex understanding of human nature. This book, although slapped in the face by the lack of judgement of a publisher who wanted a catchy title, provides the same level of insight that many of his other works do on various facets of human development. His master work on relationships The Eden Project and his Audio CD set Through A Dark Wood provide illuminated and transformative levels of information on human psychological and interpersonal development. This book even goes on to describe shadow energies at the institutional level. Hollis makes a superb case in his book through examples and overall structure that we can have no better relationship with others than we have with ourselves. He then goes on to offer tools and skills that can help a person to do the depth work to make such progess.It is truly a shame that the book was titled to attract such a superficial audience. A title designed to attrach those interested in depth understanding of the human psyche would have resulted in a substantially different set of reviews.

Incrdibly valuable and intelligent!!! I have long looked for a good book on shadow work. I will fead every thing from dr james hollis. Very helpful.

The book was in perfect condition and arrived in very good time.

Quick delivery, very happy with my purchase! :)

O autor tem um conhecimento muito aprofundado em psicologia. Na minha opinião, a linguagem do texto é um pouco exagerada e difícil, tornando a leitura cansativa, mas o conteúdo em si compensa. A crítica menos positiva que faço é que o autor comenta assuntos religiosos, o que não é problema, mas ele o faz de forma muito superficial, o que contrasta com o restante da leitura.

Everything as per description. Arrived timely.