The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples

This book has changed the way I practice relationships (including non-romantic / sexual ones) in everyday life.There were sections that went into more detail than I needed on history and game theory, but these can easily be skipped if you are uninterested. Don't skip out on reading this book because of them.There are so many instances of useful observations that are ACTUALLY based on scientific study, not just some person's opinions - that's what truly separates this book from others in the genre. The facts and statistics are truly stunning and life-changing - it is more than worth a read.

I have been looking for this relationship knowledge for 40+ years. I am extremely grateful for Gottman’s passion, dedication, openness, humility, perseverance, math/research-mindedness, authenticity, intuition, therapist sensitivity, and insight. Having a math minor only a couple courses short of a second major, I welcomed the additional details of his mathematical approaches offered in addition to his findings. His findings and therapeutic insights resonate deeply with me and with my personal experience, as do the approaches he used to get there. I have read almost all of Gottman’s books. This book is my favorite. He has answered in-depth my most burning life-long question–how do we trust and thrive in our relationships.

Well it's definitely a science book.Valuable info gear more toward clinician than you average reader. DEFINITELY recommended to the masses.

Yes the relationship is a thing, it's not just him or her. This book is all about studies of processes within couples relating to each other.If you want to understand how to nurture a relationship or recognise certain characteristics of relationshipsThis explains a lot of how relationships work or do not work, also when they continue or split, why and what predicts it and how to make things go well in a relationship in ways that build trust. Looking in my past, this book made a lot of sense.It is also interesting as to how they setup experiments to learn about these positive neutral and negative processes in loving relationships.This Gottman book is not a workbook so its good for an emotionally intelligent bachelor preparing for a life long relationship as well as those already in a relationship.

Blowing away thousands of books' worth of myth and misdirection, Gottman pulls no punches in laying out his data for how couples drift apart and how happy couples stay together. Insightful, meticulous, and detailed, it is often an uncomfortable read, always an insightful one. Not so much a manual of how to repair your marriage, which he covers in other materials, this is more about how it went wrong and the reasons why to work on it. He does nonetheless identify the key behaviours to avoid and the key behaviours that can help.

Really enjoyed the mathematical standpoint of the research, but even moreso how those findings were then explained for everyday use by couples. I am left astounded by how similar we all really are, and more hopeful for my own relationship knowing the science behind our actions.

There's a lot of good information in this book and plenty of take aways, however, the history, math, and deeper science portions didn't seem relevant when you want mainly the meat of the information to apply in life. It is called "The Science of Trust" so definitely be prepared for all the science, math, and history. The oral history reports were interesting reads into real life couples experiences. Thankfully some even gravitated towards emotional attunement. A good read, but often long and tedious. Plenty of valuable information to be gained. Guys want sex 2-3x a week but rarely want to troubleshoot issues in the relationship since it's mentioned women bring to light any issues that need tended to 80% of the time. Seems as if guys weren't so afraid of conflict and did more regular maintenance they'd get more sex. The story when Gottman notices his wife's saddnes and takes the brush from her and brushes her hair was touching, they ended up having sex that night. Some guys seem to get it.

This book is wonderful. It's got great information about how and why people form relationships. It's even got specific in instructions for having a fight. Sometimes relationships can seem chaotic and whether they work seems like random chance. This book helps bring order to the chaos and gives you some tools to allow you and your partner to make the choice to build a relationship that works and is full of trust.

Muito relevante essa pesquisa do Gottman para os psicoterapeutas que desejam realizar um bom trabalho em sugerir caminhos inovadores para a promoção de saúde e qualidade de vida conjugal!!!

I wish I have read that book before!

My core impression is, that the deep insight of the author helped me a lot to see our conversations from a different perspective. Some of the chapters seem to originate from different persons. The conversation would be a lot more enjoyable when read from different actors, espaecially the female role.

As always, John Gottman's data-based assertions clarify the relationship between everyday talk and the complexities of human relationships. Distinct patterns of exchange build trust and trust is the "magic" that sustains long term relationships.

Really interesting book, loved the amount of detail he went into about his experiments and results.