If You Could Be Mine: A Novel

While one of the main reasons I picked this book up was for the LGBT factor, I found that my most favorite part of it was learning more about Iran and the people. I actually felt like I was immersed in life there and while it could have gone deeper and we could have seen more, I felt like it was just the right amount for this book. It wasn't too much to take in, especially since it's just part of the story. We see the laws and how things work just through Sahar's life and her comments. For example, when she got on the bus she said women have to sit in the back while the men are in the front, but in this case it wasn't actually a complaint, she said it was a blessing and commented on something along the lines of at least no men can grope her on a crowded bus (it was actually a little different, because Sahar is slightly crass at times, and says things very bluntly).In the book we get to see different things, from her wealthy friend Nasrin's home and family, to her cousin Ali and his underground crew of gays, lesbians, transgenders, etc. There was variety and I appreciated that. I found that I was actually surprised at some things. One thing was that Western culture has permeated the country even though so much of it is illegal. People smuggle pretty much anything and everything into the country from illegal movies to alcohol. They have illegal satellites to watch television they aren't suppose to watch. It kind of surprised me at how much it was the 'norm' to do this. I also loved just learning a little about the culture. This wasn't something that was delved into very much, but from the meals she cooked, to the clothing they wore, it was all fascinating to me. I think it's important for stories like this to reach our teens.I really enjoyed Sahar a lot. She had a great voice and was so easy to 'get'. I understood her personality really well. She was blunt and honest, but held her tongue (just barely) when she really needed to. I felt like she was a bit blinded by her love for Nasrin though and this was sort of her downfall. She decides she needs to have a sex change so she can marry Nasrin, but Nasrin is already engaged to a guy and they are to be married very soon. When people try to talk sense into Sahar she refuses to listen. She feels this is her only option. While I 'get' this, it was slightly frustrating to read. But this is her journey, she has to find it inside herself to do the right thing. I do like that it was talked about, the difference in just being gay/lesbian and actually feeling like you are trapped in the wrong body and should be the opposite sex. Because being gay doesn't mean that you are trapped as the wrong sex, and some people may not really understand that.Nasrin was a character I had mixed feelings about. She's been spoiled her whole life and maybe doesn't appreciate Sahar as much as she should, but it's clear she does love her. I understand her personality and who she is and it's not really a negative to the story, but I didn't love her. Ali is Sahar's cousin and he's gay and actually flaunts it somewhat. He is a very fun character and I would love to read a book all about him. It would be SO fun! But I also want to see his HEA. I also loved Sahar's father. There's a bit of trouble between them since he's been in mourning for so long and has forgotten to live and love and so Sahar and he have a few things to work through. I enjoyed this aspect of the book and am so happy she has a kind and gentle father in a country where men can do so much harm to women if they choose.This is a short book that I cruised through in only a couple hours. It was hard to put down just because I was enjoying it so much. This book does have some bad language and talks about mature themes like sex and some descriptions regarding having a sex change. I'm not sure I would say it's for mature readers only, but be cautioned that there are some mature themes.I'm very glad I read this book and I really hope that more consider reading it. I think it should be in every library.

If You Could Be Mine left me gasping. The strength, the injustice, the love!Sahar and Nasrin are in love. They live in Iran, and are girls. In Iran, lesbianism is illegal. Sahar remembers seeing men hung in Tehran as a child. Being gay isn't just frowned upon or judged, it's something you could die for. The options available aren't very appealing. Run from the country, become an exhile, and hope to get to Turkey where many LGBTQ individuals are granted asylum. Live with the constant fear of being discovered. Or take the drastic route of undergoing a sex change operation, despite not being transsexual.When Nasrin announces her engagement to Reza, the older, smart, handsome medical student her parents choose for her, Sahar falls deep into depression and the fantasy that she can change her fate. Will she undergo a drastic surgery to keep the woman she loves from marrying another? Many have made this choice, as gender re-assignment surgery is not only legal, but state funded in Iran.The characters in this books will infuriate you, entertain you, shock you and ultimately break your heart. In a world with no good solution, what's a girl in love to do?Personally, I'm not only a huge advocate of LGBTQ rights, I'm also extremely interested in the Middle East, Islam and Religious Politics. This books has everything you could ask for. Political without being impersonal, activist without being preachy, entertaining without being dismissive. The author knows her Iranian history and culture (not surprising as her parents are from Iran) and displays deep sensitivity toward the turmoil inside Sahar's heart.I was impressed by the authors ability to display some of the hypocracy of the religious police, the deep fear of discovery by the members of the LGBTQ community, and the gender issues women in the Middle East face every day.The girls are deeply in love. Usually, I find the whole romance theme predictable and boring, here that wasn't the case. Their furtive kisses, heated exchanges and frustrated arguments all read extremely true to life. They are not yet 18, still children in some ways, trying to navigate a situation many adults can't manage, let alone with the added stress of being gay in a hostile climate. They make bad choices, act insensitively and for Sahar's part, she deludes herself into thinking a sex change surgery could fix things, if you read between the lines, it's clear she knows better, but she's desperate.The secondary characters and subplots are fabulous. I loved the father and Parveen (a male to female transsexual who takes Sahar under her wing). The gay cousin, Ali, could have been a stereotypical nightmare, but instead, his boisterous behavior and underground dealings come across as sincere by products of his personality and situation.I highly recommend this book. My only complaint is that it is at times too slow and some points are over simplified, however, considering the target audience of the book the choices the author makes are appropriate. An excellent read for teenagers, geared to make them think without too much explicit anything, and full of intriguing characters. This books is definitely intended for a Western audience and written in an American voice. The content is extremely harram despite the tame descriptions.If you are interested in the situation for LGBTQ individuals in the Middle East, I highly recommend you check out "A Jihad for Love".

In If You Could Be Mine, Sara Farizan has opened quite a window. Through it, teen readers see the oppressive world of being gay in present day Iran. But the picture Farizan paints is one that reflects a global plight that many gay teens endure. From brutally oppressive nations to more enlightened ones—even our own United States of America—gays face opposition. They are assailed, accosted, looked down upon, despised, told they are sick, and yes, forbidden to be who God made them. Farizan’s Sahar is very much in love with her lifelong friend Nazrin. The feeling is mutual, but when Nazrin’s marriage is announced, Sahar tumbles into despair, leading her to consider alternatives that will most probably never be viable solutions. We feel Sahar’s pain, we feel her despair, and we want to shout at her, tell her that she is being foolish. But teens can be foolish—it’s in their nature. So we go along on this ride, hoping that author Farizan will eventually lead Sahar out of her quagmire and into a path that will work for her. Many of the loudest shouting readers will be exclaiming, “Leave Iran!” But, whether stuck in the gloomy restraints of Iran or in an unaccepting town in America, leaving your home, your family, is usually not an option. Far too many gay teens are living on the streets because they chose that option, and we know they need our love and understanding, yet what was supposed to be their “support group” failed them and led them to flee. Farizan explores that option for Sahar, as well as a few others, and gay teen readers will benefit from it. But most of all, all readers, teen or otherwise, will benefit from this sensitive exploration of what it is like to be gay, and what it is like to be gay in Iran.

This choice of read came from a recommendation and I am so glad that I read it. Following Sahar as she is growing up in Iran, having to follow strict laws and trying to keep her love of her best friend Nasrin a secret.One thing I like with reading is that I learn about new things and whilst I had an idea of how women were treated in Iran, I did not know how strict it was and I had a more understanding just how difficult it was for Sahar and Nasrin.I liked Sahar and enjoyed following her as she was growing up, you could sense her determination to have the life she craved. Parveen and Ali were another two characters that I liked and I loved how Ali lived his life the way he wanted. I felt Ali would brighten up any room with his entrance as there were times that he had to cheer up Sahar and offer her words of advice.This was a quick read as I was so interested in Sahar and her life. I would love to read more about Sahar and her life and hope that the author will carry on with this story.

"Strangely" because of the mundane awfulness of living in the culture created by a religious tyranny. "Uplifting" because Sahar rises bravely, intelligent & angrily above it all. Good story. Well written! I'd love to read a sequel about Sahar at Tehran Uni.

It was a gift to my friend and she absolutely loved it. My only complain would be the amount of time it took to arrive.

„If You Could Be Mine“ ist ein weiteres Buch, das ich auf der Young Adult – Bestenliste des Rolling Stone entdeckte. Die Autorin Sara Farizan ist die Tochter iranischer Einwanderer, wurde allerdings in den USA geboren. Außerdem ist sie lesbisch. Normalerweise ist mir die sexuelle Orientierung von Autor_innen egal, doch in diesem Fall spielt sie eine wichtige Rolle, weil „If You Could Be Mine“ wohl nicht entstanden wäre, wäre Sara Farizan heterosexuell. Ihre iranischen Wurzeln bedeuten ihr viel, sie gehören zu ihrer Identität, daher kam sie nicht umhin, sich während der Zeit ihres Comingouts zu fragen, wie ihr Leben aussähe, wäre sie im Iran aufgewachsen und nicht in den USA. Ihr fehlte Literatur, die genau diese Frage behandelte – also entschied sie als Erwachsene, das Buch zu schreiben, dass sie sich als Teenager wünschte.Seit sie sechs Jahre alt war, liebt Sahar Nasrin. Damals begriff sie noch nicht, was diese Liebe bedeutet. Sie wusste nicht, dass es verboten ist, ein anderes Mädchen zu lieben. Heute weiß sie, dass ihre Gefühle ihr Leben bedrohen. Denn im Iran wird Homosexualität noch immer mit der Todesstrafe geahndet. Sahar ist bereit, ihre Liebe geheim zu halten, sich stetig zu verstecken, nur um mit Nasrin zusammen sein zu können. Doch Nasrin sieht mit Sahar keine Zukunft, obwohl sie ihre Gefühle erwidert. Als sie sich mit einem Mann verlobt, bricht für Sahar eine Welt zusammen. Soll sie nur zusehen, während die Frau, die sie liebt, einen anderen heiratet? Verzweifelt fasst Sahar einen gefährlichen Entschluss. Homosexualität mag im Iran ein Todesurteil sein, Transsexualität ist es jedoch nicht. Ließe sie sich zu einem Mann operieren, könnte Sahar Nasrin sogar heiraten. Wird sie ihre eigene Identität für die Liebe opfern?Ich habe bisher keine Erfahrung mit Literatur aus dem LSBTTIQ-Bereich. „If You Could Be Mine“ ist mein erster Roman, der Homosexualität bzw. Transsexualität als Hauptthema behandelt. Da ich selbst heterosexuell bin, kann ich nur schwer beurteilen, ob Sara Farizan die Frage der Sexualität in einem Land wie dem Iran sensibel umgesetzt hat. Ich muss ihr vertrauen, dass die Gefühle, die Sahar und Nasrin durchleben, realistisch sind. Ich werde daher nicht versuchen, diesen Aspekt des Buches zu bewerten, denn es steht mir nicht zu.Insgesamt fand ich „If You Could Be Mine“ interessant, aber etwas zu oberflächlich. Die sozialen Umstände im Iran klingen eher unterschwellig an, statt explizit beschrieben zu sein. Ich hatte das Gefühl, dass Sara Farizan sich einerseits um eine objektive Darstellung bemühte und sich andererseits sehr stark auf ihre Protagonistin Sahar konzentrierte. Dadurch ging sie der deutlichen Kritik, die ich erwartet hatte, aus dem Weg. Angesichts der Tatsache, dass sie ihr Werk für Jugendliche geschrieben hat, ist das vermutlich sogar gewollt. Ich denke, sie zielte darauf ab, dass sich junge Leser_innen ihre eigene Meinung bilden. Das ist natürlich völlig in Ordnung, für mich allerdings nicht ganz passend. Ich wusste über die Zustände im Iran bereits vor der Lektüre Bescheid und habe mir dazu bereits meine Gedanken gemacht. Ich wusste jedoch nicht, dass Transsexualität dort legal anerkannt ist und der Iran deswegen weltweit auf Platz zwei hinsichtlich Geschlechtsangleichungen ist (hinter Thailand). Angeregt durch „If You Could Be Mine“ habe ich ein bisschen zu diesem Thema recherchiert und dabei herausgefunden, dass Sahars Fall nicht so ungewöhnlich ist, wie ich zuerst dachte. Tatsächlich glauben Therapeut_innen, dass 40 bis 50 Prozent der Transsexuellen, die eine Operation anstreben, eigentlich homosexuell sind. Eine Geschlechtsangleichung ist ihre einzige Chance, ihre Liebe und Sexualität offen ausleben zu können. Mich erschüttert das, denn ich kann mir nicht mal ansatzweise vorstellen, was es bedeuten muss, so verzweifelt zu sein, dass man bereit ist, die eigene Identität aufzugeben. Die Frage, welche Opfer die Liebe eigentlich legitimiert, beschäftigte mich das ganze Buch über. Sahar wäre nach der OP nicht mehr sie selbst, wodurch auch die reale Möglichkeit besteht, dass Nasrin sie danach nicht mehr lieben kann. Ist es dann richtig, sich auf die Chance einer Chance einer gemeinsamen Zukunft zu verlassen? Nasrin hat sich für ein Leben in Sicherheit und gegen die Liebe entschieden – ist sie Sahars Aufopferung überhaupt wert? Meiner Meinung nach ist sie das nicht. Sie ist egoistisch, feige und bequem und nutzt Sahar bei jeder sich bietenden Gelegenheit aus. Wenn ich ehrlich bin, kann ich sie nicht besonders gut leiden. Das Schlimmste daran ist, dass Sahar genau weiß, wie Nasrin ist. Ihr ist absolut bewusst, dass ihre Beziehung unausgeglichen und dementsprechend ungesund ist. Trotzdem kann sie nicht aus ihrer Haut – sie liebt Nasrin so sehr, dass sie offenbar so ziemliches alles für sie tun würde. Schmerzhaft, aber wahr.„If You Could Be Mine“ ist meiner Meinung nach ein interessanter, unterhaltsamer Einstieg in die Thematiken Homosexualität, Transsexualität und Lebensumstände in anderen Ländern. Es lädt zu eigenen Gedanken und weiteren Recherchen ein. Ich denke, dass besonders Jugendliche – unabhängig von ihrer eigenen Sexualität – stark davon profitieren können, dass Sara Farizan ihren Leser_innen sanft einen Einblick in eine andere Welt eröffnet und so ihren Horizont erweitert. Ich hoffe sehr, dass sie dadurch Verständnis, Toleranz und Mut sät. Ich für meinen Teil bin nach der Lektüre von „If You Could Be Mine“ äußerst dankbar dafür, in einem Land zu leben, in dem ich für meine Gefühle nicht hingerichtet werde. Schlimm genug, dass das nicht selbstverständlich ist.

I'm not an expert on romance novels, but I loved it. Not very angsty, but sad in a sweet,quiet sort of way. I wish it was fleshed out a bit more, but it was amazing for a first time novel. Looking forward to more from the author.