I Can't Believe You Said That (Best Me I Can Be)

As I was reading this I though… oh, this is too baby-ish for my second graders. Then while reading other parts I thought, they aren’t going to understand this.But to my surprise, I was wrong. EVERY SINGLE KID LOVED IT and we’re totally engaged. Even my “too cool for school” kids. I think this is because of how honest the kid in the book is.They refer to it often in normal, daily interactions and have made lots of connections. Would recommend it for grade levels K-3. Definitely grades 1-3. Maybe a bit much for kinders (but I’ve taught every grade level). I have some of the other books as well. Would love to get the whole collection at some point. My colleagues have even borrowed it. They loved it, as did their students. It also gives great examples of thoughts that pop in your head, and what you could say once you filter the thoughts. Loved that !!

I am a school-based speech therapist (working with K-5) and I purchased this book to use with the students in my social skills group.Author Julia Cook is a teacher / school counselor turned author who now writes children's books to target behavior and social skills. "I Can't Believe You Said That" is a book targeting the idea of using one's "social filter". For those unfamiliar with the concept of a "social filter", this term refers to the idea that you should "think before you speak", rather than just blurting out whatever comes to mind.The main character is RJ (who also stars in other books by this author), and he has some real difficulty filtering out inappropriate messages. He calls his grandma out about having spots on her skin, points out a stranger's body odor at the store, voices a parent volunteer's weight gain, and lets his sister know what he thinks about her cooking. RJ doesn't understand why he gets in trouble when he says these things, since from his point of view he is just telling the truth. His parents sit him down and explain to him why some of his opinions and thoughts need to stay in his thinking bubble. They teach him that he needs to use his social filter to let only kind words through. RJ starts practicing using his social filter and is rewarded for doing so.The book beautifully illustrates how one needs to use their social filter to avoid hurting feelings. The story provides a great starting point to launch a discussion about this skill, and the bright and colorful pictures are engaging for students. This is a complex skill for a lot of kids, so I love having this story to go along with my lesson.Another great children's book for teaching the idea of a social filter is  Being Frank  by Donna W. Earnhardt.

It is just really good. Teachers, parents, friends all talk to RJ about what he says. Good and thought provoking; discussion started too. There is an activity book. Get that too. Elementary school counseling but could be adapted for middle school discussions about impulsivity and thinking ahead…

If you have a neurotypical 6-10 year old kid who is just a jerk they will benefit from this book. The little boy in the story just has no filter and is a little tool. I don't think I'll read it to her much more because I don't want my kid to 'parrot' the horrible bratty child in this book. I get that the kid needs help understanding social filtering, but he is SO whiny and rude to his parents which was completely unnecessary to the plot (and not addressed by his parents!!)If you have a special needs kid (FASD, autism etc) and they actually need a book to explain social filtering, this book will be way over their head. The bopping between examples without first explaining concepts, the large words, too many main/named characters etc. I bought it for a 4yr FASD child and she likes all books, but she has absolutely no idea what is happening in this story despite many re-reads and stopping to 'translate' pages for her.Great idea, execution drops the ball. Definitely need more products like this out there, but maybe written from a more child friendly/functional perspective.

I read this to my severe ADHD son. This book covers exactly what is going on in his life now. As he’s only 6, I had to explain a little bit more to him. Otherwise this book is GREAT for those kids with no filter!! It goes over the inside voice, the thought filter and the outside voice!! What is rude that will hurt feelings versus still saying things but in a way that was filtered so you do not hurt feelings!! Great purchase! The art is great. Well written!!

Exceptional book. The students loved it. Students use the teachings to have other students and themselves reflect on if they are using their thinking brain or talking brain. This is truly a MUST have!

To be honest, I love every book written by Julia Cook. When I read these books to my kids, I feel I am learning how to communicate with my kids.

The pages fell out the first time I used the book and read it to my class.

Nice book to start a conversation about builying with little ones.

The story is simple and the message is clear.

My daughter has autism and this book has been an invaluable resource in teaching her to keep certain things inside her head (thinking bubble) and to use her "social filter" before she says anything. In fact, I would recommend this book for all children, not just those on the spectrum.

Love this book! It's so hard to explain to kids what is and isn't appropriate to say to people. This book does a great job with that. As with all the "RJ" books, it does it in a humerus and entertaining manner. My kids love these books and it always starts good conversations.

Great book for kids on the spectrum. Its very clear in what it is trying to teach. I found the some of the others in the series are not a good fit for kids with autism. This one was lovely. Gets the message across without a ton of language and metaphors that these kids will have difficulty understanding.