Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt

This book completely changed my relationship with my teenage daughter. My kind, affectionate, funny daughter had been replaced by a sharp tongued, angry girl who looked like my daughter but certainly didn't act like my daughter. Most interactions with her felt raw and painful and I would cry out often to God to give me the wisdom and insight to reach her heart.I purchased this book after downloading a sample. My “aha” moment happened when I read these two sentences: "It releases me from the burden of believing that I am the primary shaper and molder of my children's hearts. It releases me from the panic that I've been given a deadline to produce spiritually complete human beings."I literally set the book down in my lap and said to myself, "That is EXACTLY what I have been thinking and feeling." It was like the Lord started calling back into my mind all the things I had been telling myself over and over without realizing it. I felt such a relief and like a huge weight had been taken off me, a weight I didn't even realizing I was carrying. That realization provided such peace that my mindset, attitude and resulting behaviors completely changed overnight.Before I read this book, I was struggling to hold onto the hope that my daughter and I would make it to the other side of these teenage years and have a close, loving relationship. I certainly did not imagine that we would have that during the teenage years! As God has changed me from the inside out, our relationship has healed and it is blossoming. I have seen both the subtle and the major changes and it has brought happy tears to my eyes and joy to my heart as I experience these beautiful blessings resulting from this healing transformation. I highly recommend this book!

I have to admit I was a little unsure about the title of this book at first... but the subtitle, "And 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt" pulled me in.Frankly, the book is a relief to anyone who has ever struggled with frustration or heavy burdens of expectations that are placed on us by sources other than the Bible.The author writes, "...this book grew out of my inner wrestlings on the day when I stood in a spruce forest crying out my disappointment and frustration to God. Disappointment that I wasn't a better mother and that my children weren't better children. Frustration that no one in my house measured up to what our Christian communities seemed to expect. Then came a sudden recognition that much of the load I was carrying wasn't meant to be carried and that some of that load may not have come from Scripture, as I had believed." (p 172-3)If you have ever felt that same struggle, this book will breathe fresh air and Biblical perspective into your parenting experience. The author never implies that children are not a blessing, nor does she suggest that we pursue more satisfying priorities. Rather, she uses examples from the Bible to debunk some of the myths, misperceptions, and parenting burdens that we, as Christians, have adopted as the gold standard. (The reason parenting isn't our #1 priority is because GOD IS! We are to be consumed with HIM first.)

The most incredibly freeing, grace-giving, life breathing book I have read on parenting!.I have been caught before in the trap of guilt and performance, parenting trends and cultural trends that somehow I have made "spiritual", thinking that possibly one-way might be better or even best and this book has helped me shake those chains free..Living in God's deep, abounding grace and freedom is the only way I want to parent. And sometimes, like Samson, that may fly in the face of what is expected!

This is by far the best parenting book I've ever read--and believe me, I've read more than my share!If you are someone who gets caught in the anxiety/guilt cycle of constantly questioning whether or not you are making the right (or perfect!) decisions for your children, this book is for you. I'll let it speak for itself:"We want so badly to get it all right--our marriages, our parenting, our family dynamics. We want to meet all the requirements of a good Christian family. But God takes every hour of our home life, as well as every hour outside of it, and he uses the mistakes, the flaws, the pain as much, if not more, than he uses the good" (from Chapter 9, pg. 203).This quote epitomizes much of what I love about the book--it keeps pointing back to God, and to God's authority in our lives. While in no way abdicating parents of their responsibilies, the book releases them from the perfectionism that can steal the joy from parenting. It reminds parents that we are, in fact, not God, but fallible human beings who will mess up sometimes--even when we're trying so hard to do our best. How freeing to know that we can trust God to be God, and to use even our mistakes to His good purpose! For the perfectionist who gets paralyzed with all the "what ifs" and "if onlys" of parenting, this message is good news, indeed.I have a master's degree in pastoral care and counseling, so I am always reading books like this with an eye to their underlying theology. Having said that, I truly feel that the Biblical work in this book is excellent and spot on. Ms. Fields clearly has done her homework, and is neither legalistic nor sloppy in her interpretation of Biblical texts. As a parent, I felt the gospel coming through loud and clear on every page.Do yourself a favor and buy this book. You won't regret it.