No Saints around Here: A Caregiver’s Days

If I could give this book more stars, I would. Susan Allen Toth writes with such compelling poignancy yet class, we are left wondering how she had the courage to share her vast journey with us all. She relates to us a second marriage, filled with promise and hope, that suddenly does a turn around with the onset of Parkinson's and dementia in the love of her life.It is a realistic tale, and extremely important for both those who study the dementia-related illnesses as well as caregivers themselves to read. She touches on the nuances of caregiving; glossing nothing over as some authors do, yet, approaching other aspects of the disease with a philosophical wisdom that only someone who had lived through this could do.The title is especially apropos. Often, authors of books of this nature will tell the reader that is wasn't so bad (later throwing in they had a staff of caretakers, and that they themselves were never "hands on"). Or, we have the authors who are engaging in a pity party; not talking about the interactions with their loved ones but rather, how awful THEY have it. Susan Allen Toth does neither. She tells us of her great love story but how terribly difficult it is, what is has robbed from both her husband and herself, of her fluxes of great love and great impatiences. This, ladies and gentleman, is called an honest book.She does not spare the hard times nor the graphic details, but often peppers them with wit and self-deprecating humor. This book was indeed a good choice. If you are a caregiver, take out a few minutes each night and read this book. You will not only see yourself and identify, you won't be sorry you did.

My wonderful dad has Parkinson's Dementia. It is a disease that makes this retired chemist confused, distant and with his body spasming at times. My mother is doing all she can to keep him at their home. But it is a challenge for her especially about four hours before the sun goes down (Sundowners Syndrome...common to dementia patients). This time of the day my dad is like the Energizer Bunny. Can't sit still, hallucinates and rambles on and on. My three brothers and I are fortunate to live in the same community and have agreed to help mom during the sundowners time. She says that is a big help and it allows us to give back to our mom and dad the love and kindness that they freely gave to us. In spite of that, dad requires constant care and mom can not leave his sight. Friends seldom come around it's as if they might catch his disease. Still we treasure the early parts of the day, when on a good one meaningful conversations still happen. Susan Allen Toth captures all of the emotions that occurred in her own life with her husband James, who also suffered from this same disease. From my own observations she is spot on. My mother and I have read her book and it provided a great deal of comfort and solitude. We also learned even more about the cycles of this ugly illness. If you are a caregiver or just love someone who is slipping away, check out this heart warming journal that Ms. Toth has released as a book. She pulls no punches about what we go through and just like my sainted mother, the love for her James jumps out of the pages.

Other reviewers have spoken about the subject matter of No Saints Around Here--Toth's eloquent and lively chronicling of her role in caring (in both senses of the word) for her husband as he succumbed to Parkinson's with dementia. While her memoir will be an important solace and mirror for other caregivers, I hope it finds a wider audience beyond its specific focus. In No Saints . . . Toth is a writer at the top of her form. Her voice is rich, nuanced, thoughtful, candid, self-deprecating, and wonderfully intimate. She lets us know her and her world in the way only literature can, deeply and clearly. Whether she's escaping to watch a "low-brow" TV show, poignantly noting a "last time" while simultaneously rushing forward as the situation demands, or musing on the extensive knowledge she's obtained that she never dreamed of having to acquire, such as what kind of "gentleman's pads" to buy, Toth is a keen observer of the human condition and a companion worthy of our time and attention—whether we're caregivers or not. Reading Toth's carefully selected and shaped memoir pieces, I was reminded of what Phillip Lopate said about the best essays: "They display a sparkling literary style that is pure pleasure to follow, make us recognize painful home truths and experience pangs of honesty, awaken our capacity for mental adventure, and put us in touch with a human voice that we want to follow for as long as he/she will talk to us." That sums up Toth's writing for me.

I am caretaking my husband and was feeling down and tired and lonely when I came upon this book. I downloaded and read for an hour before bed and felt so much better that I felt "safe" when I fell asleep. That's not a feeling I get much anymore.I felt less alone reading about the life of another caretaker and what it was like for her. It's well-written and not depressing in the least. So many challenges in the caretaking life. I know it's part of my soul's journey and I need to find a way to stay balanced and not burn out. I loved that she was able to go to London and had that cabin getaway, not that she could get away much. We don't have the money for aides and get-away trips, but we live in a gorgeous area that many days has sustained us. We also can honestly list many things to be grateful for each day.Anyhoo, if you are a caretaker, I recommend this book. If you just love memoirs, I recommend this book. If you are a caretaker who loves memoirs, this is your lucky day.

Interesting book. It is something many will be able to relate to and know they are not alone in their struggles.

As a caregiver, unprepared as most of us are, I loved reading this.

Great book for caregivers