Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage: How Healthy Conflict Can Take You to Deeper Levels of Intimacy

This book is a must read and quite possibly saved our marriage. However, learning this perspective on how to respond to conflict can be applied to more areas in your life than just your marriage. For my husband and I, it truly helped our marriage before even finishing the book. We both started out with so much anger, hurt, frustration, selfishness, pain and pretty much any negative mindset you could think of. We were extremely unhappy before starting the book and were desperately looking for something to help save our marriage. We lacked compassion, respect, sexual desire, emotional connection etc, yet rarely actually fought...just suffered in silence and withdrew from each other. As we read this book we could both feel our perspectives change and our hearts open and our love grow back(deeper than ever before). I honestly can say I went from being unable to find any good in my spouse to overflowing with feelings of respect, admiration, and love for him within days of starting the book. We are not deeply religious people and therefore didn't fully connect with all the religious references however we were still able to absorb the meaning of the content he was trying to get across. I could go on forever about how this book has changed our marriage and how we now respond to conflict. Responding instead of reacting has brought us closer together than ever before and helped us resolve many lingering painful issues. I highly recommend this book whether your marriage is struggling or not!

I didn’t realize that this was a religious book. Based on the description on the back of the book, I didn’t expect that every other paragraph would have a bible verse and say that all of the problems in my relationship are due to Satan. Couldn’t get past the first couple of chapters it was so over the top.

It's been a great tool to work through with my husband so far (we've only gotten through the first few chapters). We both ended up getting a copy of the book so we go through a chapter on our own and then discuss it together. We've had meaningful and insightful conversations that otherwise don't happen often. I can really relate to the author's stories and see how the concepts are being played out in my own marriage. I love the Bible-based approach. I can't wait to get through more of the book and apply it in our marriage. We really needed this book and I thank God we found it!

This book was pretty good. I prefer  Lasting Marriage: Discovering God's Meaning and Purpose for Your Relationship  by Dustin Heiner. It helps the reader to know and understand how the Lord created marriage to be a blessing and how to LIVE in the meaning and purpose of marriage.

I have been a fan of his previous book, now out of print. The concept of the fear dance has explained many of the foolish fights I have had in my marriage. This is now an updated model of his exceptional insights into the interactions that can destroy a marital relationship. It is presented in a humorous, self deprecating manner that makes needed truths easier to hear. I highly recommend it to any 2 humans, who want to walk through life together( in spite of themselves).

I had heard Dr. Smalley and his wife speak on a Focus on the Family episode about this book, and so I decided to purchase it. Although my girlfriend and I are not married yet, the principles in this book have really helped us learn what type of fighters we are and how we can better understand one another. This will definitely be a book we refer back to often as we continue our life together.

Really enjoyed this book. Very practical and easy to read.

The video series doesn't exactly work alongside this book, as it is a little hard to figure out what chapters to read with which lesson, but the study is FANTASTIC! started some great conversations.

Well written, excellent marriage helper