Positive Discipline: The Classic Guide to Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline, Responsibility, Cooperation, and Problem-Solving Skills

This is an instance where it is worth the money to pay for a new copy of the latest edition. As Jane herself has evolved and grown in understanding (the whole point of Positive Discipline, for parents and children both), so has the book. The first part of the newest edition spends a good amount of time reflecting back on the beginning in a very helpful way!The most popular review of this book on Amazon seriously lacks understanding of what PD actually is. It is NOT just “talking to your kids about their feelings”. While emotional health is extremely important, and gaining skills in talking about and understanding feelings and how to respond to them (your own and others), a true Positive Discipline response does not stop there. PD is solutions based parenting rather than punishment based, that is all. So the first approach to, say, a child not performing a family task required of them (cleaning their room, say) would be—waiting until AFTER all members of the family are calm and rational—A. Validate/understand why they are choosing not to do it, B. State choices within the boundary of getting the task done, then C. If that fails, moving on to a conversation between parent and child, thinking of a solution and agreement that you then HOLD THE CHILD TO until the task is completed, regularly and on time. Being able to say “what was our agreement?” Is not only much more likely to encourage cooperation than lecturing and yellling is (the child herself came up with the rules alongside you!), but it empowers children to understand their own power, ability and responsibilities, giving them that vital sense of purpose and belonging in the family.If this basic description of how PD works appeals to you, by ALL means buy and read and share this book! I can pretty much promise that actual application of PD will not result in a young person that loses their part-time job because the boss doesn’t care about their “feelings”. 😂

I got this as a required textbook for my child development class and I absolutely loved it. It was an effortless read that left my hi lighter(s) completely dried out from overuse. It is probably one of my favorite non-fiction books, and it's one I still reference with frequency and have even moved cross country with! I have used the methods described in this book in my professional life and have seen tremendous success *especially with special needs children!!!*It addresses many of the behavioral issues that we (adults and caregivers) are prone to attribute to a child's personality (think "he's a bad kid") or even personal jabs (think "why does my child hate me so much that they would do these things to me?). The book takes an in-depth look at not only why a child is behaving a certain way, but also how to address the child's (understandably) poorly articulated needs which are the crux of behavioral issues. Because of the education it gives on about a child's emotional needs, it offers the reader unique insight that allows them to increase the quality of interactions with children outside of discipline. This holistic approach is why it is incredibly effective. The difference this guide makes would be equivalent to addressing seasickness by simply getting off the boat instead of trying to quell the nausea with moderately helpful off-brand Tums.

I have read many parenting books, always trying to stay one step ahead of my monkeys! Most of the books had a few good ideas, but while full of great philosophies, were basically useless in real-time. This book, and the ideas and methods behind Positive Discipline, are totally usable. That's my favorite thing about it. The ideas and psychology in the book have completely changed my outlook on parenting, and the way I view my relationship with my kids. The application of said ideas is simple and do-able. Most every idea has been very easily incorporated into our lives. Initially it was more work to use positive discipline in our home, but as I have really applied the principles, I have seen a change in my kids for the (much) better! We are closer than we have ever been. They are more willing to listen when I talk. We are working together to learn and find solutions to our problems. I get the sense that they feel more validated. Being a parent is so much easier, without all the yelling and spanking and bribing, and... Everything around our home feels more positive and respectful, and I owe it all to "Positive Discipline"! I would recommend this book to anyone with children, who is a chronic "yeller," hates doing that, and wants change but doesn't believe it can happen. And to anyone who wants a better, closer, more positive relationship with their little kiddos.

This book helped me see discipline in a whole new way. It's true, children don't have to suffer in order to learn they have done something wrong. We need to have respect for the little ones just as much as anyone else, and that's sometimes hard to remember when you are angry. "Positive discipline" explains this concept well. The only problem is if you have very young kids, this book doesn't help much in terms of specific examples. Most of the examples are about children 5 and up. I would imagine "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" would serve my situation better. I am buying that next and will write a review for it shortly......

The techniques in this book work extremely well, especially if you start when your child is between 2 and 4 years old. Take the time to carefully read and absorb every word. Don't skim it. Always use controlled choices and your child will not argue. He/she will pick one of the controlled choices: e.g. Do you want to brush your teeth first or wash your face first? Instead of Are you ready to brush your teeth? e.g. Do you want pizza or hot dogs for lunch? Instead of are you ready for some pizza? Setting non-confrontational expectations works great, but only if you're prepared to follow through: e.g. The last time we were in the supermarket, you pulled cookies off the shelf. If you do that this time, we're going to leave and go right home. Even if your cart is full with only one aisle left to your shopping, if he/she pulls cookies off the shelf, don't say anything, don't act angry, take the cart to customer service, apologize, and leave. Your child will never take cookies off the shelf again. Tell your child "my ears are broken. They can't hear you when you're yelling" (That's one of the reasons you have to start young. They know this can't be so by the time they get to be 5). I could go on and on....if you have a young child, buy the book and follow it.

This has probably been the most helpful parenting book I've read--and I've read many! It teaches the same principles of Love and Logic, but is more specific about how to apply the principles. It works on the concept of natural consequences instead of time outs and punishments. My favorite thing about this method of parenting is that I felt like it is actually helping our children learn to be responsible adults. We are creating the same situatoins they will encounter as they leave home and function in the world. They are gaining confidence by making decisions on their own. They are using self-discipline to do their chores, instead of being ordered to do everything. This book teaches us how to raise responsible, respectful, confident and most importantly, happy children!We have seen a huge difference in the way our daughters (7&9) behave. After setting boundaries and being consistant with consequences, parenting has become much less labor-intensive. The kids are starting to keep themselves in line! Overall, we have seen an increase in obedience, respect and harmony in our family.This book was recommended by all the counselors we know, and we highly recommend it too!

My wife wanted me to read this book that she heard about from a friend of hers. It sounded like a good concept from the title, but I was still in the mindset of giving punishments to try changing behavior.When reading the book, a lot of it made sense and some of it didn't. I disagreed and even objected when I first read about the "cooling off" period because of the way it was presented compared to my past experience being on the other end in a similar situation. This made more sense later as I continued reading though, and it is the way that it is done that matters.Since starting to read this book, I have been trying to apply principles that I have learned from it as I see opportunities, and I have seen more positive results from its concepts than my previous practices.I got more out of the book than just helpful information on how to raise children. I believe a lot of these concepts can and should be applied in many areas of life with friends and co-workers as well.My final thoughts are that I believe all current parents, parents-to-be, teachers, and even managers should read this book to help others be their best. It is a complete 180 from the way it seems that most children are raised, but is ultimately what each of us were likely striving for through giving punishments. What we are striving for is that we want our children to grow up properly, feeling loved and to have success in all areas of life. That is what this book sets out to achieve, and although we all make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, I believe if everyone constantly tried applying these techniques in their daily lives, it truly would make our world a better place.

This book is packed with parenting knowledge backed up with researches and studies. It digs deep into the reasons why children are 'misbehaving' and provides the related solutions. This book provides very thorough knowledge and suggestions. I high recommend this book!

Muy práctico y con muchos ejemplos para empezar a utilizar la disciplina positiva.

Book is not original

Avevo scaricato la app che consiglio per rapida consultazione, il libro è un po' lungo ma pienoni esempi in cui é facile ritrovarsi. Il metodo è efficace e consiglio una lettura anche sulla negoziazione che pare spesso essere la chiave per la comunicazione efficace con il bambino. Peccato non ci sia in italiano

Excelente libro super útil

A lot of the information, you think we would/should kind of just know, but answering ourselves honestly, it's amazing how much we say to our own children, just because our parents did it to us. Reminds me of the quote "A fish doesn't realise it's in water". This book helps us take a step back (pulled out of the water), and look at our own behaviours from the perspective of a child.The book offers a great perspective of how your child can feel in different situations, and will even allow you to be honest with yourself about how you felt in similar situations as an adult or from your childhood.We have had great success with our children with this book. We have a 1 year old girl and an almost 5 year old boy that has far more repsponsibility in the house than we ever imagined, because he enjoys it. He makes his own breakfast, cracks the eggs, whisks them and knows that if he makes a mess it's OK. He's able to understand when to turn the TV by setting timers for himself, without us needing to demand he turn it off. If we get angry or annoyed, we're better at dealing with those emotions and timing out from each other until we're ready to fix it. It's OK to apologise to your children and admit when we're in the wrong.I got ratty one day and shouted at him. An hour later I hugged him an apologised and told him that I was in a grumpy mood and that I shouldn't have snapped at him, not because I wanted to forget it, but because I genuinely felt bad... it was instant forgiveness from him. He is able to now do the same, whether with us, or his friends in school.He has gone from being worried about being shouted at, to knowing it's OK to make mistakes but this book has helped us get to that point, and understand how he may feel in the moment. He feels proud of himself when he does something difficult, and we are able to encourage him entirely through positive discipline. Our daughter, although only 1 is benefitting from having parents who are able to react calmly and rationally, even when she is not. We're in the squealing phase right now, which is frustrating, but by rewarding her good behaviours, she's moving on quickly from the "bad" behaviours.A really good book, I'd highly recommend it, the birth order is an interesting read too and you will notice this in people you know, but don't go talking to them about it.... some people are (understandably) not interested in you analysing them (I mistakenly brought it up in a conversation with friends, and immediately backtracked out of it!)Not a book that you need to follow to the letter, more of a guide that you can start implementing little at a time to see the results.Thank you Dr Jane Nelson for making this information so readily avaialable and easy to digest.