The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Search for True Love Paperback – January 5, 2021

Initially apprehensive to read a "relationships" book, I decided to go ahead and read it due to a recently ended relationship and the assurance that this book is deeply rooted in science. And I am so glad that I read this book, principally for the succinct summary of hundreds of academic studies on psychology, relationships, divorce, attachment theory, and happiness.Seeing that each conclusion the author posits is based not just one or two, but many repeatable academic studies is very reassuring. I felt like I was able to much better understand myself as a human being, particularly the biology of attraction and the fundamental changes in relationships over the last 200 years due to increased life expectancy and societal shifts.There are parts of the book where I felt like the author was coaching me on how to make better dating decisions, which is fine, but felt a bit odd as much of the focus on the book was presenting science rather than relationship coaching. I think Dr. Tashiro probably just couldn't help himself, and I don't fault him for doing it. When I obliged to do the tests presented in the book, I went to the noted website to complete them and found the website to be incomplete and not have the test results represented in the book.At times the conclusions were a bit muddled; I thought the discussion on attachment theory was interesting but lacking in finality. After spending a couple hours researching attachment theory online, it makes sense now that the conclusions were weak because there don't seem to be strong correlations between long-term relationship success and attachment type among adults."The Science of Happily Ever After" has many virtues and the survey of such a massive amount of research is really worth reading, and it is made better by the weave of interesting personal stories that illustrate the science in action. In the end, I give the book 5/5 stars despite its few shortcomings. I highly recommend this book.

Dating when your in your 70's is downright scary. This book provides a framework for simplifying the process by highlighting that we really don't get much more than three characteristics to pursue in a potential mate.Basically, the greater the number of characteristics we want the lower the odds of finding someone with all those characteristics. The author provides an ample set of approaches to help us determine the fit of potential life-long partners. These approaches can go a long way to finding a partner we can appreciate and respect enough to invest a lifetime in.As the author repeatedly notes; we can fall in love with mismatched partners and we can fail to fall in love with what he defines as a good match. He does not address what causes us to fall in love, only what factors are likely to contribute to the length or shortness and the healthiness of the relationship once we do fall in love. My personal experience is that trying to force myself to fall in love with what the author would defines as a good match is an act of futility. If you want to explore how to stay in love, this book is a very helpful resource. If you want to explore falling in love, you will need another resource.

Ty Tashiro weaves together a coherent and scientifically based guide to finding a fulfilling and stable relationship. He elegantly weaves together personal anecdotes with scientific research to give a reliable basis for interpreting the causes of relationship dysfunction. Whereas the premise of his work comes down to simply motherly advice of "choosing the right partner" i.e. someone not too hot or exciting, the strength in his argument is in the clear and detailed analysis he gives. His writing is a real treat to read and he always treats his subject matter with congeniality and respect.The only criticisms I have are:His history of marriage and "reproductive health" seem lackadaisical. It sounds like he confuses historical precedents for marriage, romantic love, and sexual attraction. He doesn't try to delineate what might be a biological basis for attraction (hardwired in us from evolution) and what might be a remnant of traditional marriage in an agrarian society. This is probably because he's only seeking to give a foundation that will be familiar to the reader, but to someone like myself who has an interest in evolutionary psychology, it seemed to fall short.Also, whereas his analysis is impressive, I wonder if the mechanics he advises for finding a suitable mate really carry out in the real world, since he doesn't have much empirical evidence to share.However these are minor faults and don't take away from the fact that this is a highly readable and thought provoking book. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to develop a better perspective on what factors lead to a satisfying long term relationship.

È come leggere costantemente il primo capitolo. Non si arriva mai a un punto, viene ripetuto sempre lo stesso concetto

This book looks at what the research into relationships says about finding happiness with a partner. It's a well written and thoroughly researched book that anyone looking for true love would benefit from reading.

Very interesting at the end

A lot of the promotion and marketing I saw for this book implied it also covered some grounds on how to stay happy together, but in the end it is a so how-to-find-a-good-partner book. From what I can gather it is well researched and as casual reader it seemed to make sense. (Though I am not a psychologist or therapist.)On the writing style: a little repetitive at times and all the anecdotes from the writer's life seem extremely convenient. I had a few "yes, yes, I get it!" and "sure..." moments.

A good concise look at how traditional ways of evaluating prospective partners may not be useful. Also serves as a guide to thinking critically about what you really want in a long term relationship.