The Outward Mindset: Seeing Beyond Ourselves

I work for an umbrella organization of American-based peacebuilding organizations where we have used the Arbinger Institute's other two books to help get our own staff to work more effectively. Therefore, I pre-ordered it and read it the moment it arrived this morning. Like Arbinger's other two books, Outward Mindset makes what looks like simple points that turn out to be very difficult to actually put into practice yet which also can have tremendous payoffs. Their first two books are written largely in the form of allegories that show the reader the principles underlying their work. This one is based on real world examples from their practice AND focuses more on things the reader can do in his or her own environment. The Arbinger team is by no means the only group to talk about mindsets or personal paradigms--see the work of Carol Dweck or John Kotter for others. But, what sets this book apart is its focus on the initiatives we as individuals or our organizations can take to address issues head on by assessing the needs of the people we work with and then trying to help them reach their objectives and/or overcome their challenges. What's more, they argue that we can and must take such initiatives even if the other party does not respond in kinds at least initially. In fact, they make the case that that's just about the only constructive thing one can do. As one critical reviewer put it, this book does read like a catalogue of Arbinger's success stories. But, I know from my own work using even some of these principles, they can and do work far more often than one would think. It is fair to say that the book could have benefited from more examples in which an outward mindset did not lead to stunning payoffs, but even so, this is an important book for anyone trying to build a more peaceful planet, workplace, or home.

From the very first story in this book in chapter 1 to the final pages, I was captivated. The concept is simple, there are many problems that surround us in our professional and personal lives; and the majority of the cause we blame on others. Whether it is a problem at work, or an issue in our personal relationships it is easy to say that it is because of other peoples lack to understand. For some reason they are just not as capable as me, therefore I deserve more that they; or maybe I just lack the confidence because deep down I know I am not what I want others to think I am. Either way we separate ourselves from others and the focus becomes centered on "me". Can you imagine organizations, teams, and families where the people within them are focused just on themselves... or is that already all too familiar? Do things get done? Is there any real progress made? From Corporate settings, to family life, and even the athletic arena, our Mindset matters. Is it Inward or Outward? Great professionals don't achieve incredible results by simply changing behavior, they change their Mindset. Great athletes and teams don't win championships thinking only about themselves, their focus is on each other, their fans, and their club. Families would never be able to survive happily if those involved had an Inward Mindset, it just doesn't work. The Outward Mindset is crucial in every aspect of our life. This incredible book equipped me to actually achieve that mindset and live it better. From the first story to the last you will not be disappointed! Truly Remarkable.

I have read books from the Arbinger Institute earlier. This is a much easier read (compared to the other ones). Much of wisdom seems so common-sense-ical. Guess that's what makes it wisdom!

From a law enforcement perspective, this book could not be timelier. Even as all manner of new rules and recording devises are being mandated for police interaction, experience demonstrates a problem. When all the protocols, rules and procedures are followed, people can still feel violated, feel profiled, feel like they were treated unjustly and feel like police authority is illegitimate. In today’s world, with the speed and interconnectivity of social media, how people feel about police interaction matters a lot. At the same time, social media demonstrates America is fortunate to have officers who are true heroes. And a true hero cares. True heroism is brimming with compassion. Empathy is a source of strength. The Outward Mindset officer recognizes him or her self in others. Such officers do not look down on others, because they are able to connect with the distress of others. Daily social media feeds demonstrate that from heroic compassion exudes endurance and the determination to protect and relieve the suffering of others. The Outward Mindset officer’s compassion is a fantastic super-fuel, supporting officer well being and invigorating public trust.

Our 13 year old son read this as part of his school curriculum to help with social-emotional issues. It absolutely changed how he views people and how his actions and motivations impact his world. The rest of the family picked it up too, and while it has helped us all recognize falling into inward patterns it also makes it easier to make adjustments on how we think about things to encourage more positive experiences. and it has changed how he sees himself and how he behaves in the world. It doesn’t mean we do things perfectly , but when we recognize we our inward mindset - it makes it far easier to alter to outward thinking for improved experiences. We now have several copies on hand at work and home to gift to others who pursue our bookshelves.

Great book! Excellent information and the narrator was easy to listen to. The information here can change office dynamics and really improve our ability to work with our teams. As a professional counselor I use this both in relationship counseling and trainings, but also in organizational counseling, and employee employer cultivation and counseling. I highly recommend reading all of The Arbinger Institute books. Good stuff. Not the end all be all, but very valuable assets for your kit bag!

Loved leadership and Self Deception but this one was not as impactful. Some good examples but the stories get kind of redundant. Still happy to have read and looking forward to the anatomy of peace.

Vast, but always to the point. Some would, perhaps, find it rather basic, since it touches on the very core values that make the human kind. All of those situational stories will bring you as many times, in as many contexts, where people have the chance to act humanly, and though they miss such opportunities. This is an excellent call to reality, to the backbone of our nature as humans, a look in a mirror that is always there. If only we'd turn the lights on, how much we'd benefit ourselves?

Excellent read. Good explanation of Arbinger Institute's approach to working with others.

This book is awesome

Das Buch bringt es auf den Punkt wie man mit Freude den Unterschied im Leben macht und hat viele sehr anregende Beispiele und über die Geschichten auch viele Ideen die sich lohnen in die Tat umzusetzen.

I am very fortunate to have a great mentor that tuned me in to Leadership & Self Deception which paved the way for me to read this and the Anatomy of Peace. I've read others; Mindset, Crucial Conversations, Start With Why, Five Dysfunctions of a Team and many others. I've listened to others, especially to the hugely impressive Jim Rohn. I like to think that as an introvert with a passion of listening and a growth mindset that I'm doing ok. However, this book has taken me to another level. It's both enlightening and embarrassing. Every few pages made me put it down and reflect on my actions on both past and current situations. Equally thought provoking and disturbing in a positive way, it has allowed me to self-correct but also correct others in a constructive and confident manner with great outcomes. For me this is a true game-changer. If you want to go from good to great then this is a must read.

Simple idea presented carefully and thoroughly. Well done!