OTOTO Bert Cheese Knife, Gnome-Themed Multifunctional Knife for Cheese, Fruits, and Veggies, Cute Kitchen Accessories, BPA-Free Kitchen Gadget, Funny Gadgets, Gnomes Gifts for Women

I have a partner that is addicted to .... fromage. "Addicted" is overly evocative, let's say "highly appreciative" of "artisanal" curdled dairy (wow, that word has a suggestive .... tail. What are artists up to? And analysts? Freudian professions, hmmm, that needs further investigation). Anyways, I thought this would be a delightful cheese board accoutrement, and, boy, was I correct. It was a winning Christmas gift.He, sorry, Bert, is adorable, even if he spells his name incorrectly. "Bert" is obviously an idiot, everyone knows - even "Berts" - that you spell "Burt" with an "hu" and not an "eee". For Bertand, well not that one. For Burtrand! (There we go) For Bernard "Burttie" Montgomery, for Bertrand Russel ... Cripes! Never mind, that man was a simpleton ... All I am saying is people with blades for hats don't always make the best life choices; like selecting an "e" when a "u" is obviously demanded.But Bert [sic], as a simpleton, does his job exceedingly well. When horizontal, in-hand, he cuts like a dream. It has to be surgical steel; on many a cut into a warm brie and cranberry I have imagined myself performing life saving surgery on one of my dinner guests (usually the most attractive one. Why not? My reverie, my choices). "Quick! She (or, He, depending on my mood) is choking on one of those incredibly delicious canapes my partner took all day to make! And this is how SHE (or HE) repays us?! I must save Her (or Him ... I obviously know the names of my guests. I mean, they are in my house. I may not like them all - if any - but you don't bring Bert TO a party. What type of mental arrives at a party with his own cheese knife? Unless for murder? And if it is for that, well Bert makes a statement. A small piece of me delights in the thought of my spouse thrusting that into my chest in a heated lover's quarrel; passion turning to dread when she realizes what she has done ... Bert, [sic] the "Gnome-Themed Multifunctional Knife for Cheese, Fruits, and Veggies", inverted, feet bobbing in the air dancing to the rhythm of my faltering heartbeat, thrust into my chest. His blade hidden, but his jovial novelty still delighting us with its whimsy, I give a last chuckle as I think of the cop telling his wife about his day when he gets home that night ...). BrilliantOh, the choking guest! Right. Canape, choking, ingrate ... go:"I must save ... Jill's ... life! Hand me something exceedingly sharp, multi-purpose, and easy to clean!And there is Bert [sic]. Smiling in his outrageously well-honed red hat, he makes me want to cry "THIS IS SPARTA" each time I plunge him into ... something. Anyways, long story short, I save Jill's life thanks to Bert [sic], and knowledge (stay in school kids), and Jill agrees that my partner does make the best appetizers in the neighbourhood, and her choking was an accident and not a critique. Ambulance arrives, hauls a grateful and humbled Jill away with a wonderful story, and we moved the party to another room in my chateau, I believe the library accommodated all of us ... and Bert [sic], of course.Bert's [sic] character shortcomings;Not an overly practical design, so "value" for money is not something I am looking for in a cheese knife, but extravagance, oh boy, Bert [sic] pays out; the conflicting emotions of violence and playfulness while performing such a banal duty - to cut cheese, fruits, and/or vegetables - is well worth the price of admission. But ...CAUTION; this little fellow bites. Bert [sic] is best when in a safe environment, such as a charcutiers board, and all aware of the danger he poses when placing your hand down close to the cheese board, or when you lean down to get a closer look at the crudité. Gravity will do the work for Bert [sic] so be careful when he is vertical! This is Bert [sic] and "Bert gonna Bert" (those who own one, get it. It's like a child; you don't really KNOW until you are staring down 18 years of misery when you get home from the hospital. The great thing about Bert [sic], is when he causes you distress, just shove him a drawer. Try that with a crying child!), and I just know Bert [sic] is in one of his surly moods when he attempts to remove my finger as I reach for a grape.But with a giant knife head comes great responsibility, and once you learn about his minor "peculiarities" (like his use of "e") you soon come to realize that Bert [sic] is no ordinary cheese knife, but a gnomish one , and, I believe, we all could learn something from Bert, other than his practical use. When your head is a knife, not everything has to be cheese (and we know its original intention, come on, who paints a knife blade red other than ... who? A vampire? Dexter? A clumsy surgeon?). But Bert is more than that, once you get to know, and use, Bert, you will come to realize that you will have something to talk about when standing next to someone you don't particularly like when at the party "feeding station"; "oh look at Bert, he is so cute .. yadda yadda" And if the conversation doesn't go well, and dislike turns to rapid violent hatred, Bert got yo back ...

Why use a normal knife for your cheese board, when you can use this one shaped like a gnome!

Simpatico e funzionale. Ottima idea per un regalo di Natale

Immer witzig

Really pleased, bought as a gift but this isn't a cheap novelty. Good knife.