Maybe He Just Likes You

*ALL kids, parents, teachers, counselors, and school administrators should read this book!!*Mila is a fairly typical middle-schooler, though her family is facing some financial challenges due to her father leaving them several years prior and being a deadbeat dad. She has a small, but close circle of friends in Zara, Omi, and Max, has a good relationship with her mom, does okay in school, and is a talented trumpet player in the school band. Things are fine, until suddenly a group of boys start targeting her, for no apparent reason. At first, it's just standing a little too close, a hand on a shoulder, but it progresses to unwanted hugs, grabbing her butt, and making unwanted comments about her body.Mila is angry and confused, knowing this goes beyond mere teasing or typical bullying, but she does not have the words to explain it, and doesn't want to worry her mother, who is already under a lot of stress. She tries to tell the male guidance counselor, but in her discomfort isn't able to find the right words to explain what is really going on, and he doesn't understand she is describing sexual harassment, not simple teasing. Her friend Zara implies that it's Mila's fault, that SHE must be doing something to cause the boys to target her, and worse, accuses Mila of wanting the attention, leaving Mila feeling betrayed, isolated, and without any support. Why won't they just leave her alone?I wish this book wasn't needed, but unfortunately it so desperately is. Kids and adults alike need to understand what sexual harassment is, what it looks like at this age, and that it is NOT okay! Girls need to be empowered to speak up, and given the proper vocabulary to describe what is happening to them, boys need to understand that this kind of behavior is not okay, and adults need to learn to recognize it for what it is and take it seriously.All too often, girls don't speak up for fear that it will get worse, or that adults won't listen, and unfortunately that is often the case on both accounts. Too many adults don't think twelve-year old boys are capable of sexual harassment, and are too quick to dismiss it as harmless teasing, with a "boys will be boys" attitude. Schools often downplay it, cover it up, blame the target, and/or expect the target to be responsible for solving the problem by changing their routine, class schedule, extra-curriculars, or transportation to avoid the aggressor rather than taking appropriate action.This is a very age-appropriate description of sexual harassment, but the story is also well-written and engaging. I would recommend it for kids ages 10-14, their parents, and all adults who work with kids, and parents should have a discussion with their child after they have both read it. Make sure your child knows that they can tell you if this is happening to them, and that you will believe them and support them, and that this is absolutely not acceptable behavior. Help them understand the line between joking around and harassment, teach them that touching or commenting on another's body is absolutely not acceptable and will not be tolerated.Thank you, Barbara Dee, for tackling such a tough topic in such a sensitive, age-appropriate, and eye-opening way!

I'm a current 7th grade English Language Arts teacher, and after reading this book, I must say that Barbara Dee captured how hard it is in middle school to find words for what’s happening when it doesn’t feel right. It's also highly relevant for so many women who’ve been told they’re overreacting when it’s actually harassment. I pre-ordered the book, so when it arrived, I started and then ended up reading it all in one night because it was so good. After book talking it with students, it flew out of my classroom library, our school library is ordering it, and a student asked where to order the book from so her and her mother can read it together. It's on many students' "To Be Read" lists, too. This is a book that all students can benefit reading, regardless of their gender. Teachers and parents can also benefit from stepping into the main character's shoes and seeing from a different perspective. #BelieveWomen

This is one of the greatest books I've ever read. The boys at 12 year old Mila's school keep bumping into her, making comments about her body, and even inappropriately grabbing her. What should she do when her friends think she's just overreacting to "flirting"?This book really breaks down consent and sexual harassment for younger kids. If you want to teach your children or students about consent, consider reading this book with them!Please consider reading this book and having that open and honest conversation with those people in your life. "Consent is not the absence of a no, but the presence of a yes. "

Maybe He Just Likes You is a remarkable, timely, and important book that highlights one of the difficulties of middle school relationships: learning to set and honor personal boundaries and the easy slide into harassment.As hormones flood their bodies and transform them into young women, teen girls are not only excited and proud, they can be confused, uncertain, and intimidated. They enjoy their new grownup look and the attention that their transformation elicits. But they find that some of the attention–and pressure—is unwelcome.This negative attention can come from girls and boys. Some girls may be both curious as well as jealous. Some boys may find themselves attracted yet don’t respond in appropriate ways that respect the girls without being predatory or intimidating.It’s a conundrum. It is scary and humiliating. Girls want to be attractive and they want to be respected not objectified. Maybe He Just Likes You chronicles one girl’s terrifying experience of being the object of unwanted attention by the boys in her class. They design a game in which they gain points for touching Mila’s body—without her permission—and for embarrassing her or causing her to respond to their unwanted attention.When she turns to her friends for support, they accuse her of thinking she’s imagining it and overreacting. As Mila gets increasingly overwhelmed, she turns to a school counselor for help. Unfortunately, her assigned counselor is on maternity leave. The basketball coach is serving in her place. All of the boys who are bothering Mila play on the team. Mila declines to discuss specifics with the coach so he dismisses her concerns, advising her not to be too sensitive because Boys will be boys. Coach’s relief exceeds his concern for Mila.One of the things I appreciate about this book is that it highlights the need to educate young men on what sexual harassment is. Most of them didn’t intend to actually hurt Mila; to them, it was simply a game. One which they could laugh off. For Mila, the situation was neither funny nor trivial. It was downright scary. Humiliating.The boys need to gain a sense of what it costs girls who are targeted and harassed. Boys must learn appropriate ways to interact without insulting or intimidating the girls in whom they are interested.We must discard the outdated idea that if a boy likes you, he might be mean or hurtful to you. If we want boys–and men to treat girls and women better, we must teach them how. If we want girls to have agency and self-confidence, we must teach them how to set and hold boundaries. Being scary or intimidating is not a healthy way to express interest, appreciation, or relationship.I feel that this book should be required reading for middle schoolers, their parents, and their teachers. We have minimized this kind of harassment and intimidation by boys for too long. The toll it takes on girls and women is high and it must end.Defining, holding, and respecting boundaries is probably one of the most important life skills which we all need. Yet few of us ever receive specific training in how to establish boundaries or in how to respond to the boundary setting of others. Operating by guess just will not cut it. Everyone needs guidance and practice to refine their boundary skills to proficiency.Adoption Attuned lensLike all middle schoolers who face experiences described in this book, adoptees also face additional challenges around boundary setting as relates to their adoption. Puberty imposes a fuller understanding of the extent to which adoption has fully realigned their lives. Identity issues come to the forefront for all teens and are particularly complicated for adoptees. They must wrestle with the multiple strands of their identity—braiding the elements of their biology with the elements of their lives within their adopted families. Like Mila, they need support from adults who empathize and validate the challenges they face.

Daughter wanted this after hearing good things and do glad I bought it for her. She literally hasn't put it down and says it is a fantastic read.

Wow! This book belongs in every middle grade classroom for sure! Five stars for this well-written story about consent, knowing where the line is, and what to do if someone crosses it. Believable characters.