Reforming Marriage: Gospel Living for Couples

It has helped me understand a lot of what it means to be a Husband and Father. From a very biblical perspective. I liked how it wasn’t just Doug Wilson’s thoughts but filled with Gods words, and explained very well.

Wilson gets you thinking. This book has given me a very important paradigm shift as I prepare for marriage. I see that if the husband does not take responsibility as the head of the family, all things fall into disrepair. He must lead firmly, biblically, and with great tenderness and care for his bride. He must not abdicate responsibility, nor permit his bride to rule over him. No matter how much the world hates this truth, God sets the husband as the “lord” of the home, and he must lead with the same care, wisdom and cherishing affection with which Christ leads his bride, the church. Hr must not use this authority to exasperate his wife and family, but to help them to bear fruit as a husbandman tends to a garden. I see the wisdom of God’s paradigm, and can only painfully recognize the bad fruit of the typical ”50/50“ approach to marriage. In that approach, no one truly governs 50% — one usually takes 80% by manipulation and a strong arm. No — God gives ultimate governance to the husband but requires Him to use it with great deference, using it to serve the desires and well being of the bride in place of his own. Since he is in charge, he ultimately must take responsibility for all the results of the decisions they make as a couple — even if his wife’s ideas which he allowed. Since he is the head and has an obligation to lead the marriage into fruitfulness by God’s Grace, he must also take ultimate responsibility for all the fractures and failures that occur at different times in his marriage. Yet if he faithfully and biblically loves his wife and children through and mature practical application of the doctrine of headship, he will further beautify his wife and strengthen his children.

BLUF: It's about God's glory, not your happiness. Regarding marriage specifically, it's about Christ and the Church, not you and your spouse. Sin is real. Look to Christ.Long version:More than other marriage books, Wilson's focus is Christ and His Church - the paradigm of which our marriages are but shadows. Thus, this book presupposes a regenerated reader, since all the practical advice in the world is not going to help someone with a heart of stone who does not understand sin, nor God's gracious provision for sin in Christ and the cross.Buildling from that foundation, Wilson's book does provide much practical counsel, rooted always in God's Word, with disregard for culture or contemporary attitudes. He deals first with a basic theology of marriage, looks at headship modeled after Christ, and then lays out some of the specific duties of husband's and wives. Some of these were no surprise (husbands have to provide for their wives), while others were new to me (husbands must confirm their wives' commitments, cf Numbers 30). Next he discusses sin, and how to deal with it in marriage, always with the cross in mind. Finally, a few chapters are given to sexual relations, children, and divorce.If you're looking for lots of practical tips and tricks, this probably isn't the book you're looking for. There are others out there, with good theology underpinning them, that are more of that orientation. But if you want a solid consideration of the theology of marriage, its covenantal nature, and how that ought to work itself out in a Christian marriage, I have never read a better one than this.On a less substantial note, Wilson also writes well, and has quite the imagination for useful metaphors and illustrations. This books is mechanically easy to read and understand.

This is a wonderful resource! Thankful for leaders like Doug in the church. My family is already reaping the benefit of this wise and biblical teaching.

This is a well written treatise on the subject of being male and female in the context of marriage. The glorious design of God for mankind's well being is explained. It is well written and easy to read. I strongly recommend this book to anyone that seeks to understand God's creation and His special creation of Man as male and female and the glorious roles that both have to play as they live out their lives together in marriage, reflecting God's image. It does not cater to the modern sensibilities, but simply declares that "thus saith the Lord". God's Word is the foundation for faith and practice. It contains what God has declared. We are His creatures and He is the Creator, and all that He declares is good and right and for our well being. This book is written from that perspective and is an excellent explanation of the subject of marriage and the relationship between husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.

Doug Wilson teaches about marriage in a thoroughly biblical way. This book does not take any cues from the culture at large. It looks at and believes the word of God. Many will criticize it because it is counter cultural. But believers are called to live in a way that sets the standard for culture.I have read many Christian marriage books. I have had issues with all of them except this one.

I came to this book as it was referenced in another Christian book I was reading. The reference was so clear, once I started, I couldn't put this book down... In this politically correct society, this book was indeed a medicine I required- Godly perspective on distinct roles and attitudes in marriage. It biblically tears down the sameness-of-the-sexes that has plagued modern Christian marriages. This book clarifies, with explanation and biblical references, the differences between mere friendships(between husband and wife) and God's design and plan of marriage.

Without a doubt the best book on marriage I have read. Thoroughly biblical, deeply provocative, very enjoyable. Read it and be changed.

Basics about christian marriage.Deals mostly about the issues faced & roles played by husband.Not very detailed but precise.

The book is awesome. Easy to read and to understand. No lack of deep biblical exegesis and insight, though. A good read for any who wants to understand marriage, manhood and womanhood.