Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

In “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Coleman justifies the importance of emotional intelligence (or E.I.) in all areas of life. To help us understand what is happening when emotions occur, the book begins with an explanation of emotions and neural circuitry. As Coleman goes further into the topic, we learn why emotional literacy is extremely valuable in our love, family and work lives. Most importantly, this book offers helpful approaches on how to improve one’s emotional aptitude and fix negative emotions. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology, well-being, or personal development. Likewise, I believe that this book would be extremely useful for emotional personalities who are affected by chronic anger, anxiety, or depression, and who are looking to improve themselves by better-understanding their emotions and learning how to handle them. My brief takeaways from the book: What Is E.I.? Coleman discusses emotional intelligence as one’s ability to identify, understand, and handle emotions in oneself and in others. There are two aspects to E.I.: internal and external. Internally, competencies include self-awareness, self-management, impulse control, mood regulation and more. Externally, E.I. relates to empathy, social awareness and the capacity to manage emotions in others. The Brain Coleman explains how emotions are highly dependent upon one’s neural circuitry; in particular, the balance between her “feeling” amygdala and “thinking” prefrontal cortex. The amygdala is the part of the brain that triggers emotional impulses and fight-or-flight responses. The prefrontal cortex is the emotional damper that inhibits impulses while simultaneously facilitating attention and working memory. An amygdala overwhelmed by emotion and unable to be regulated by one’s prefrontal cortex can trigger what Coleman calls “neural hijackings”. Neural hijackings contribute highly to emotional deficiencies such as anxiety, anger and depression. A portion of one’s neural circuitry is genetic, but Coleman argues that temperament is not destiny. The brain is continuously shaped throughout a lifetime due to its neuroplasticity. The Emotions Emotions are physiological responses of the brain. Good moods and emotions help us stay motivated, optimistic, resilient, and resourceful. They contribute towards an ideal state or flow and facilitate our ability to think flexibly and associatively. “Laughing, like elation, seems to help people think more broadly and associate more freely, noticing relationships that might have eluded them otherwise…” On the other hand, negative emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression can drastically impede our working memory, intellect and performance. “Emotional Intelligence” focuses on the most common negative emotions: anger, anxiety, and depression. Each of these emotions is a different type of emotional hijacking on the brain. Coleman discusses, in detail, the treatment for such concerns. In short, solutions include methods such as self-awareness, cognitive reframing, and distraction techniques to fight toxic trains of thought before they ruminate further. “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose in the right way – that is not easy.” In The Real World A significant portion of “Emotional Intelligence” discusses the effects of emotionally illiteracy on the most important areas of our lives: relationships, family, work, school, and health. These chapters include numerous studies and examples on how emotional competencies affect one’s ability to be an effective manager, teammate, spouse and parent. Most importantly, emotional states play a significant role in one’s physical and mental health. Coleman discusses the correlation of negative emotional states, such as stress and depression, with one’s susceptibility to (and ability to recover from) disease. For example, social isolation can affect mortality rates as much as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and obesity! E.I > I.Q. “Those who are at the mercy of impulse – who lack self-control – lack a moral deficiency: The ability to control impulse is the base of will and character.” Without discounting the fact that I.Q. is indeed important, especially for lower-rung technical jobs, Coleman debates that E.I. contributes significantly more to one’s overall success and quality of life, especially in “soft” domains such as health, love and relationships. In a family, it’s E.I., not I.Q., that influences how long a marriage lasts or how a child handles adversity. At the workplace, everyone at the top of the ladder is already filtered by technical expertise. So it is E.I. that helps the best and most effective leaders stand out. From a societal standpoint, an emotionally intelligent community will breed a moral culture where decisions are influenced by empathy and moral instincts as opposed to uncontrollable impulses. “Academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil – or opportunity – life’s vicissitudes bring. Yet even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities. Ignoring emotional intelligence, a set of traits – some might call it character – that also matters immensely for our personal destiny” If you've found this summary interesting. You should definitely go deeper into this lovely, informational book!

was very hesitant based on reviews, but received my book today in perfect condition. Words could be a bit larger pages not really see through. Overall it's a good book and for half the original price . Cant wait to read.

I purchased this book in an attempt to get a better understanding of what this term "emotional intelligence" actually refers to and how it is measured. To be clear, EQ is not measured in a similar fashion as IQ. Instead, Goleman presents studies (some of which use data that come from self-reporting subjects), as well as institutional examples, that offer qualitative evidence that children who identify, understand, mitigate, and respond to emotions with cool-headedness, nuance, reason, and empathy not only fare better in school, but in adulthood. Conversely, Goleman makes the case that children who lack such skills have fewer friends, get into more altercations, perform more poorly academically, and go on to flounder in adulthood. All of the preceding makes for an engaging lesson for the reader; as well, Goleman has a clear, excellent writing style. To be clear, this title is not arranged or presented as a self-help book; however, there are a few passages that helped me identify some of my own emotional ignorance. For starters, the passage on page 69 that describes the way in which "worriers ... need to actively challenge the worrisome thoughts" offers several helpful questions the anxiety-ridden person should ask as a way to challenge and ultimately diffuse a nagging worry. Moreover, toward the end Goleman describes in great illuminating detail a useful example in which a school system integrated emotional lessons to its at-risk youth. I was able to extrapolate this to my own memories of poorly handling emotional responses in my relationships, and thus was able to rehearse how I would handle a similar situation again more positively and effectively in the future. I have, and will, refer to the aforementioned lessons, since, according to Goleman, practice not only makes perfect, but changes the brain in helpful ways to allow the reader more control over the hijacking lower emotional brain centers -- the relics from humanity's primitive days when such centers were more useful when orderly societies didn't exist and mortal danger awaited us at every turn. There are only two drawbacks to this book. For one, it is quite repetitive. I often found myself pausing while reading and wondering, "did I already read this, or is he repeating himself?" Honestly, it took me a long time to read this book, because I simply became bored at times and would abandon it for other reading material, (although I am glad I didn't give up on finishing this book.) Also, I would wonder, "where is he going with all of this?" To answer the last question, it's not until the very end that his point becomes apparent. The other drawback: I am not sure who this book is written for. Is it written for the casual reader, like myself, or is it written for Goleman's peers, U.S. educators, parents, or school systems? I am quite sure who the book isn't written for, however: the adult who struggles with poor emotional self-awareness and literacy. This aspect of the book was an ultimate let-down for me, not to mention ironic. If, as Goleman argues, children with poor emotional intelligence often go on to live their adult lives spinning their wheels locked in toxic relationship styles, then reaching those adults who already fell through the cracks should be an obvious aim for the author. They are, after all, often parents to children who need (and are not getting) competent emotional lessons at home. While I personally was able to glean useful lessons from the book, I could see less motivated adults becoming frustrated with this book and never completing the reading, much less applying any of the corrective examples to their own lives.

The paperback edition has faded grey print, tiny text, and super thin see through pages. How did the publisher decide to butcher this excellent book with such awful paperback print quality? The hardcover edition, on the other hand has normal good quality print. The hardcover one has larger pages, crisp black text, and normal thickness pages. Here is a photo side by side comparison.

“Academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil - or opportunity - life’s vicissitudes bring” There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is about the facts. Wisdom is about understanding and applying those facts. Miles Kington quipped, “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." Without understanding, everything we know is useless. We need more understanding and that is where emotional intelligence comes in. I love working in higher education because I get to interact with so many students majoring in a variety of fields. I get to learn about so much just by association. But I also get to see students connect the dots throughout their liberal arts education. The English major may not like his chemistry class and the Biology major probably abhors here art class, but I enjoy seeing these students expand their minds and gain perspectives connecting academic fields together. Additionally, I enjoy seeing students live in community, learning to connect their academics to the lives. In life changing moments to the mundane of the everyday, this is where students learn emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is one of those foundational works that everyone needs to read. It simply shapes how you think about everything you do and everything you are. Though the whole book as great, I greatly enjoyed the section on optimism. How optimistic you are about life has a huge impact. Your sense of optimism is more predictive of your success than your intelligence. Giving someone optimism is crucial. “People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property” I also found the section on dealing with tragedy or difficult memories particularly interesting. I already knew about the chasm between our emotions and the inability to communicate them effectively. (This is why it is hard to explain the reasons you love someone and why listing pros and cons seems absurd). But I never thought about the importance of communicating terrible emotions into words. “People’s emotions are rarely put into words; for more often they are expressed through other cues.” This is probably why just going to therapy just once can be beneficial. Putting horrible memories into words can help you confine and control the emotion. This book is a new favorite. It is a must read.

Very useful for evaluating and recognizing the role of emotions in one’s life. I am inclined to explore the subject further, particularly through other books written by the same author.

Another book on “amygdala”, the earlier one I read being – “A whole new mind” by Daniel Pink (it is quite a surprise that both the authors happen to have a common first name !!) in which it was extolled that the Right brain is going to rule in the future. While that had some few references to amygdala, Daniel makes a very generous reference to amygdala all through out the book. The main difference between the two books is that while Mr. Pink was thrusting on the emotional brain going to be determiner of future survival, Mr. Goleman laments that the current and future generation is fast losing the essential of handling anger – and there is no attempt to teach empathy, impulse control or any other fundamentals of emotional competence. He further stresses that emotional distress can create deficits in childs intellectual abilities , crippling the capacity to learn. Thus, a high IQ does not correlate to a successful life, unless it is matched by a substantial high EQ. All through out the life, one is stressed with handling relationships – parents, siblings, spouse, children and a team at workplace. Thus it is easy to resonate with the concept that life is about handling relationship, which as per Mr. Goleman is about being able to manage the emotions in someone else. My grouse on the book is that for a large part , it read as more of common sensical (just that there was some link to amygdala throughout). For instance, the art of critique as quoted from Harry Levinson – be specific, be present, be sensitive , and be solution oriented – is quite plain jane for anyone who has done a few rounds of appraisal of their team. One new learning was the revelation that connection exists between brain and the immune system, thus further strengthening that emotions do matter for health and low emotional health would mean frequent affliction of cold !! No wonder people living in arctics are quite healthy. The approach to handling PSTD was also interesting. Another interesting fact was that while smoking increased the mortality risk by a factor of 1.6, social isolation does so by a factor of 2.0. While the book does talk of some schools (Schooling the Emotions ) which work on the EQ part, the relevant question are also asked alongwith – are the teachers themselves confortable talking about emotions and where does one find time in the tough curriculum to fit this in. So, this is the Catch 22 – EQ is critical, but the IQ needs cut into the time for building EQ. The situation gets complicated by the fact that the Emotional schooling is more needed outside the schools – at home, cafeteria, playgrounds etc. Thus, while this book does a good job of drawing out attention to an urgent need to teach the most essential skills of life to every child , however, there are not many new insights coming out. I would go with three stars on this. My preference is clearly towards “A whole new mind” by Daniel Pink, with due apologies to Mr. Goleman

I don't usually find myself buying or reading books labeled "Self-Help." Not that I don't like myself, or consider myself unworthy of help--or beyond the realm of needing help--but I find the books labeled and marketed this way to be largely vapid and boring. This was not the case with Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence. This is a thoughtful, sober, and careful analysis of specific issues related to character formation and the steady slide of young people in society into a situation of being incapable of articulating, let alone controlling, their passions--as they would have been called in the 18th century--and directing their attentions and efforts in pursuits likely to lead to productive, healthy, and contented lives. What could be more urgent and important? The book details interesting scientific discoveries, data from studies and experiments, and intelligent and non-pedantic descriptions of complex phenomenon with ease. While offering ideas for solutions, Goleman is never so obnoxious as to pretend that providing training in emotional intelligence to young people will solve all of society's ills. In an age of mass shootings, youth nihilism and despair, and generations lacking the ability to toss their phones aside and pay attention to something for more than two minutes, focusing on a way to drive home the usefulness and almost unlimited upside of character formation (which Goleman concedes is actually what he's talking about at the end) seems a tremendous imperative. While the book begins with philosophy--where the answers ultimately lay--Goleman hopes to avoid that field by keeping the majority of the book in the hard(ish) sciences. However, if he wishes to succeed in reforming education along the conservative/classical (though thoroughly secular and traditionally liberal) lines he proposes here, he will need to get a bit more explicitly philosophical. There, I fear he will collapse into a heap of utilitarianism and collectivism and squander the good that this book hints towards and wishes to promise.

Detailed and requires the willingness to explore and learn.

The font of the letters are too small to read...unfortunately

É um livro fundamental para a vida de todos nós. Não é um best-seller de autoajuda, mas uma reflexão profunda, assertiva e baseada em pesquisas com rigor científico conduzidas por décadas. É uma leitura transformadora à medida que abre nossos olhos para verdades pouco difundidas ou completamente negligenciadas sobre inteligência emocional, cuja ausência propicia a maior parte dos problemas de relacionamento, de segurança e de saúde nas nossas sociedades contemporâneas.

When first released, the author was a pioneer in this field. Therefore, to those who consciously or unconsciously already make use of their emotional intelligence in various everyday situations, this book may seem to state the obvious. However, if like me, you're interested in unbundling the skillset and understanding it better, then you'll find this book of real interest. As many other reviewers have said this is not a guide to developing Emotional Intelligence, nor a self help book to help you in desire. Goleman sheds light on our life and our different ways of thinking. This book explores how Emotional Intelligence is a key factor in determining personal as well as professional success. The author explains how individuals who are able to tap into self-awareness, self-discipline and empathy are usually happier, healthier and more successful with personal and professional relationships than individuals who are unwilling or unable to learn what motivates people.

A very enlightening read. Enjoying learning from this book.