All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right Mass Market Paperback – January 1, 2007

Half a Century ago, women had a much better chance of having a good marriage. Why? Because playing hard to get was the social norm. Today, women have not been schooled in the basics! They sleep around, pick up the tab, live with their boyfriends, and believe in the idea that being elusive will make men think they're not interested! Of course, the opposite is true.The advice this book gives has been called many things--unfeminist, manipulative, and deceptive. But i have noticed that those reviewers have not even tried the rules, they just reject them based on their own personal opinion. Some others have said that it doesn't work on all guys. I'm guessing that the guy they were attracted to wasn't that interested in them, and blamed it on this book. Following the rules doesn't mean that every guy will be attracted to you. It's basically a filter, to get the guys who are and then finding your own personal Mr. Right among these men.The Rules are the epitome of feminism! Being feminist doesn't mean you are aggressively pursuing everything and anything, and if you're not, you're not being feminist. It's having self-esteem as a woman. A "Rules Girl" by definition is confident, independent, active, and very, very hard to get. She is not clingy, isn't sleeping around, has high self-esteem (or acts like she does), and lives a full life. A man doesn't fill her up, because already has her own interest and hobbies. She doesn't completely fall apart when a relationship doesn't work out. She tells herself that there are other suitable men out there and goes to the very next singles dance to increase her chances of finding them. She doesn't treat a date like a therapy session, or a man like a savior. She's a rules girl!The Rules aren't manipulative. They are simply a set of guidelines that, when followed, produce results. It's cause and effect.They aren't deceptive either. Rules Girls don't lie, or have affairs with married men. When the authors advised girls to be mysterious, not very revealing, on the first few dates, they didn't mean lie! Mysterious simply means that you're not pouring out your whole life story to a stranger. Doing so is inconsiderate and pulls men away, not closer. Women argue that this is deceptive because they aren't "being themselves". You ARE yourself on dates. Think of a date like a job interview. At an interview, you behave a certain way to give the best impression. But you are yourself. As the relationship continues, you can reveal more. He WILL know the real you!!I heard a story once that proves that revealing too much pushes men away: A divorced man took his kid to McDonald's and met a woman with her own kid. They were getting along very well as they watched the kids play together. He was attracted to her and asked her out. Sounds perfect, right? But on their first date, the woman dumped her problems and life story on him. He really couldn't take such a heavy load right away and his interest waned. The man later said he wanted to find a woman who, basically, acted like a rules girl!Remember, men and women are equal professionally, BUT THEY ARE NOT EQUAL ROMANTICALLY!!! Men MUST pursue women! They like to, no matter what they say about a girl playing hard to get. If a man has not sought you out, he is not REALLY interested! You must not start a conversation yourself. Men like feeling chivalrous and will go all-out for a girl they are interested in. That's why a man who is interested will pick up the tab at a restaurant. you must not feel guilty about him paying for you. It doesn't mean you are a gold-digger--he LIKES the feeling of being chivalrous. Of course, if he asks you to pay half, cheerfully do so, just know that he is not THAT interested, as hard a concept as it is to swallow.Hard to get does not mean impossible to get.You CAN return his phone calls. The authors said RARELY, not NEVER.Wouldn't you rather have a man who pursued you? who couldn't live without you? Who treated you like the #1 girl in the world and not someone he could get in ten minutes? Girls who follow the rules get men who act like gentlemen.Someone said that this doesn't work for sensitive, shy guys. But it does! Even a shy guy will eventually find the confidence to approach a woman he is REALLY interested in. Women like to label men they are attracted to as "shy" when he hasn't approached them. The reality is, they are just not THAT interested!I recommend this book to everyone. They are plenty of success stories. Do the rules even when things are slow. Being single is better than being in a relationship with a guy who doesn't treat you like a precious flower. Don't judge by your own personal opinion. Follow the rules to the letter and see for yourself!

This review is a response to the review written by "Random Bimms". I am Jerry Fusselman's wife - we share our Amazon account under Jerry's name:Random Bimms claims, "This book should be called, 'How to catch men who are sexual predators. That is the type of man you will catch if you follow the rules. Using these 'Rules,' you will only catch men who look at dating as a game, who want to 'score,' and who look at women as sexual objects to be conquered."Random Bimms is a man. His review is only conjecture. I am a woman, and my *experience* is that this book had the EXACT OPPOSITE effect for me. The Rules helped me solve my predator problem for good!I found The Rules invaluable for getting me AWAY from sexual predators and stalkers and into a relationship (ending in marriage) where I was actually *respected* and NOT dumped just for wanting to wait on sex. (You can tell guys early on that you plan to wait for marriage, but if you don't project confidence, they tend not to believe you - like they can "convert" you to sex because you're weak-willed. Well, "conversion" didn't work on me - about the only trick that didn't, I was such a doormat and so willing to believe that guys who called themselves honest really were.)After reading The Rules, I realized that, even though I personally struggled with low self-confidence, if I at least *acted* self-confident around men, I would attract positive attention rather than negative attention. The Rules also helped me to be *proud* of my old-fashioned boundaries rather than slightly embarrassed by them, and to focus first on *my* happiness, knowing that once I was married, I would have years and years to lavish the self-sacrificing love I so desperately wanted to give to *someone* on the *right* man.I went from being a girl with stalker problems, a girl who had to file police reports on predators, a girl who even attracted a predator *in her own church*, to a woman courted by a virtuous man who absolutely adores me - a man, by the way, who had to wait for the wedding night but wanted me anyhow. We have been married two years now and we still feel like we're on honeymoon.I didn't follow every rule to the letter, nor do I think every rule is compatible with every situation. But I cannot deny the general advice the book gave changed my life. The best part for me, besides my marriage, is that in the process of "faking" self-assurance around men by following The Rules, a girl often develops real self-assurance. I know I did, for the first time in my life.(I think it's possible that many men feel antipathy towards The Rules because they subconsciously realize that The Rules make their sex life less convenient.)For girls experiencing problems with sexual predation, as I did, I would also recommend (besides, obviously, whatever legal protection and counseling that may be necessary) the Dog Whisperer, Miss Manners, and Jane Austen's novels. (Yes, Jane Austen's novels and The Rules *are* morally compatible, contrary to Random Bimms's claims, and following The Rules can help you, too, become a spirited, Austen-style heroine, able to freeze cads with a single look.) Plus, a job walking big dogs helps, if you can get it. You cannot control big dogs without projecting authority, then you use that skill to discourage predators."Ni Putes Ni Soumises" is the name of a French feminist group. It means "Neither Whores Nor Doormats". The Rules is a guide for those of us who want men to know that we're neither whores nor doormats, but rather self-assured women, and whose mothers/grandmothers/sisters/friends never clued us in on a practical way to accomplish this. Predators gravitate towards vulnerable targets - "whores" and "doormats". Follow (approximately) The Rules and become less of a target!