Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting (The Peaceful Parent Series) Kindle Edition

Is this book for you? Let me state some questions, each one a little harder than the last. Is your child under the age of 6? If yes, then this book will probably work, if older, I'd really suggest a book for older kids. Are you at your wits end with the yelling, fighting at every turn and constant nagging to get simple things done with your child? If yes, then maybe this book IS for you. Have you noticed your current parenting methods are simply not working? If yes, then possibly, this book is for you. Lastly, the hardest question of all, are you willing to admit that you are most likely the biggest part of the problem with your child's misbehavior? If you can answer this question yes, then this book WILL work for you. But it does require you to dig deep and examine your own past, your own feelings, and your own problems and accept and work to fix them before your child will ever respond to these practices in the book.A little background on us: I have been struggling with my 2 year old daughter. She is very high needs, she is very stubborn and extremely intelligent. Add her constantly not feeling well from ear infections and eventually a perforated ear drum from tube malfunction, she was just rotten. A few months ago we were headed down an awful road. Tantrums every night, timeouts, me frustrated and angry and feeling like I've been through a war every night after she finally went to sleep. I cried everyday, I loved her but nothing was working, I didn't want to be THAT parent that broke her spirit but she wasn't listening to anything I said, she was getting violent, throwing things, hitting, just all around angry. I started reading this book out of sheer desperation, I was lost and felt completely alone and the ultimate failure. In the few weeks I've started the practices in this book, both Lise and I have done a 180. The tantrums are few and far between, and when they are there, they are short and very manageable. Lise has become affectionate with both her daddy and I. She freely gives kisses and hugs when before she refused any affection. She listens to what I say, she has started playing by herself and not demanding my attention 24/7. It's crazy and wonderful, I understand her feelings better and she's getting better at expressing whats going on and even more, handling her emotions and working through them herself. I just can't say enough, time outs, spanking all that is completely gone in our house. Even the word NO is very rarely used. Lise has started understanding and respecting our limits with little to no toddler stubbornness. She wants to make us happy and I can literally see the confidence building in her. Things aren't perfect, but they are absolutely better.At first reading this book, I was like um, no, there is no way that this could work. My wild child will walk all over me when I start this so called "love" parenting. But as I mentioned, I was desperate. I didn't want to spank her, I didn't want to drag her kicking and screaming to timeout, I didn't want to isolate her or be constantly telling her no she can't do that, no she can't do this, no, no, no. I knew deep down what I was doing wasn't right regardless of what family members suggested based on their experiences. They told me to come down hard on her now or she will only get worse. I was angry, she was angry, we both had no idea what to expect from each other that day, so we both went into the day guarded and short tempered. I knew I loved her dearly, and I tried my best to try the old school parenting practices with her but it was only making her worse. Yes, she listened most of the time based on threats when we were out in public or at someones house, but I now know that was only because I was humiliating her and would've done it further by spanking her or forcing timeout in front of people she simply wanted to interact with. I know what you are thinking, she is only 2, 2 year olds don't think on that level, but mine does. I can't speak for yours. Once I'd bring her home, the "old school" practices would break down, and I would be forced to yell, time out, and spank. Tantrums would be hours long, kicking, screaming (screaming on both of our parts) and hitting. The child lived in time out. It simply wasn't working. I was desperate for any alternative, and i thought, well, she is already unmanageable, what more could this do...So I started doing little things as I read them in the book. Before I was even done, I saw changes in her. Dramatic changes. I'm currently on my second round reading it. She wants to listen to us, yes she is a toddler, but often with a simple compromise, or a promise (that is ALWAYS kept on my part) to come back when time allows for whatever activity she is involved in, we can get through just about anything without screaming, or acting like a wild child. We understand each other so much better, we talk, we laugh, we have a blast together...I look forward to continuing this peaceful approach for the rest of her life. I'm sure there will be breakdowns, yelling, but I'm confident that we can work through just about anything together.

This books has been very helpful to me as a mother of two. The book provided very good examples and real life situations on how to respond in stressful and high intense situations.

Admittedly I am not finished with the book, but the first unit of the book, which focuses on helping yourself calm down first is just so amazing that I cannot wait to post a review. I will update my review when I am finished with the book. First, I want to address those who downgrade this book because it is just "common sense." Well, this information may MAKE SENSE once you read it, but it is not common sense to those who were not raised with so called "common sense" parenting. I have gone to plenty of parenting classes and read many books on the subject, and I've even read a book on how to stop yelling at your kids. Though I have really learned a lot, I have not been able to stop yelling and stop letting the primitive part of my brain, rather than the logical part of my brain, take over the task of discipline. This is the first time that I have read a book that firsts focuses on how to take care of yourself before you try to discipline your kids. All of the other books and classes have focused primarily on how to replace the yelling with other options, but really didn't help the reader take care of themselves so that they can eventually keep from having that feeling of yelling. One of the things that I love about this author is her honesty, and her willingness to say what we all think at times, and her willingness to tell us that it's normal to think like that, but we need someone to tell (even if it is just a friend), and we need to find a way to diffuse our situation before we lose credibility with our kids. The most valuable things that I have take away SO FAR, are 1) it is not an emergency, you can come back and deal with it after you have diffused yourself, 2) walk away, 3) "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." ~ Dalai Lama, and 4) by regulating our own behavior, we are teaching our kids how to regulate their own behavior. None of this is easy, so the author outlines steps on how to diffuse yourself, how to keep yourself from yelling in the first place. Then the author goes on to tell the reader how to discipline without taking away stuff and privileges (which never works, I've found my 7 year old, and only makes the situation worse), but I haven't gotten to this yet. The very next morning (my worst time of day with my kids) I was able to follow the steps outlined by the author to keep myself regulated and it worked so well. They were quite motivated to do the things I was asking them to do. Here I was then able to implement other techniques I have learned over time, like asking them what their responsibility is at that moment, rather than just telling them to go get dressed. When they can answer it for themselves, then they are more likely to go do it themselves. I would not have gotten to that point, though, if I had started all angry and hyped up. I was so excited to get through a morning without yelling and even being able to calm down and breathe through the small things, like waiting for my 5 year old to click his seatbelt (which takes an ETERNITY).

The jist of the book is parental ownership of childrens behavior. PLEASE read if you have children .

I read a lot of parenting books and this one is my favorite. The writer gives very good and useful advice. Got it from the library first and then decided to get one of my own. Highly recommend!

Look let's face it parenting is hard, just finding time to read this is hard... But worth it. Some of the advice is just common sense but the way it's laid out and presented really makes you think. Honestly does make you consider how you parent and you will probably pick something positive from this. It's not hippy dippy stuff, worth a try try if your struggling

This is so helpful and thoughtful. Still reading it, but you can dip in and out of it. It really makes you think about where your own behaviour and thoughts come from, and how to sort important issues out.

this book has really helped me to keep calm when my child is pushing my buttons. a brilliant book for those adults who want to keep calm when their child is having a melt down

I always knew that there must be a better way of raising a great child and a person, other than through hitting, yelling, disciplining, punishing, all those "necessary" evils. I think this is the best thing I have found in my whole life because it's going to help me raise peaceful and happy kids. Thank you from my heart dr. Laura Markhan!

It's a little preachy and you need to take everything it says with a grain of salt. It mentions many studies done however does not list them specifically so you wonder where they really got their data from. However there are elements of the book which do make a lot of sense and provides a different perspective to parenting and how your child behaves. Harsh discipline is only one way to go about it and it's interesting to read about alternatives. Ultimately as parent you need to decide what kind of parent you want to be and how to get the best results. I don't believe there is ever only ONE way to do things and there are different solutions that work for different families. Just keep an open mind and be willing to try anything.I started reading this book when I had been on holiday and my 2 year old was acting up a lot, and my sister in law who was very well meaning put my son in timeout (with my consent). I had never administered that kind of punishment before and was interested in seeing how she did it as she's a mother of 3 generally well behaved kids. However, after doing it a few times while on holiday and then at home, I got the growing sense that a) it wasn't working and b) it felt wrong. My son looked at me differently, he ran to daddy instead of me and he was acting out MORE. I decided punishment might be something we do but not at this age and not in this manner.Since reading the book I've stopped yelling at my son and spent a lot more 1 on 1 concentrated time with him on a daily basis. I have always been a mom who loves to show physical affection to my son but I wasn't always willing to play with him, preferring to leave that to his dad. Since I started spending more time focusing just on him, I've noticed his behavior has MARKEDLY improved. There's definitely something to the philosophies in the book which can help.